Live from the emergency room!

Good golly, this is my first post in a long time. And of course, being me, I have to do it from the emergency room.

I'm sitting on one of these icky sterilized beds that are too white in the pediatric section of the hospital. By law, of course, the room is decorated with ugly fishy strips of wallpaper at the top and there are puke bowls and pee bottles and heart monitors. The pillow on this disgusting bed is plastic and when I lean back on it, it deflates slowly with a funny noise. I had to sit in a waiting room with a bunch of nasty sick people and the chair looked like someone had just peed on it and people were just all around me being disgusting. The toilet seat in the bathroom was covered in pee and I used a giant wad of toilet paper to clean it and I'm still not sure that I used enough and it might have soaked through to my hands. Augh.

In less depressing news, the music that plays around here whenever a baby is born just played twice in five minutes. Twins?

I didn't eat dinner and it is nine twenty in the pm and I am hungry.

This bed crinkles and creaks whenever I move. Have I mentioned that hospitals freak me out so much. But it seems like I'm in here so often.

HEY, GUESS WHAT? I'M GAY. (But I'm not gay.)

Hello random stalkers of the internet! Hello people who are here because I posted it on my facebook! Hello  everyone! This post is all about GAY. Also, if you would like to know what the song is that inspired my title for the post, please see the song IF YOU WERE GAY by AVENUE Q.

This post is my official coming out to the internet and people I know. This should hopefully clear up any questions about my sexuality.

If you actually know me in the real world and aren't just a blog-stalker, you would know that I love gay people, I have a lot of gay friends, I am part of my school's QSA, gay rights are something that needs to be HAPPENING, I love Ellen DeGeneres, I love Neil Patrick Harris, I've done the Day of Silence twice. So it should really come as no surprise to anyone that I'm gay.

Now let me clarify. I'm gay, but I'm not gay. Get it? No? Okay. Let me explain. I'm not gay as in a guy who likes guys. I'm not gay as in that I like the opposite sex/gender (AUGH THOSE TWO WORDS ARE THE BANE OF MY EXISTENCE). I'm gay as in I am not straight. I like girls and guys. Bisexual and pansexual just confuse me, so for all purposes, I am gay.

I know a lot of you are probably saying, 'Duh, Erin. We already knew that.' and I'm saying, 'Just clearing it up so that you won't be confused.'

So I know my parents read this blog (HI MOMMY HI DADDY). I wouldn't be surprised if my aunts and uncles and various other family members that I am friends with on facebook have stumbled across this (HI VARIOUS RELATIVES). I know many-a-friend reads this (HI EVERYONE). I know that random people that I have never met and probably will never meet read this blog (HI!!) And I am sick of pretending I'm straight or ignoring the topic around certain people and then being out and proud in front of others. Especially because recently family members have been extremely heteronormative and they've been asking if I have a boyfriend yet.

My mommy and daddy will still love me, right? They've said so before (my mommy has said this when we were watching Ellen and she was interviewing that chick Constance who wasn't allowed to go to her prom).

I know most of my friends already know. Everyone else is so out of the loop. But if you don't like me anymore because I'm gay, screw you. You can stop following this blog or stop being my friend on facebook. But I know most people are totally for the gays, since this town is so liberal.

Since I'm probably too wussy to tell a lot of people, this is my way of coming out to you. Mostly because I am not talented enough to play the ukelele like my friends want me to.

Also I can't find a good picture of someone coming out of the closet because I guess safesearch isn't working and I keep on finding pictures of penises and no.

ALSO NEW YORK YOU ARE AWESOME.

Also when I click 'publish post', I'm telling everyone I'm gay. READY, SET.... CLICK!

What important things have I learned after finishing two of my four years at an alternative high school?

Since I just finished my sophomore year a week ago, I figure now is a good point to make a list of all the important and amazing things I learned at my lovely institution of learning.

• Shoes are optional. However, there must be a layer between your feet and the ground. Duct taping the school newspaper to the bottoms of your feet is sufficient.
• You do not go to a good school unless it has swings in the front and you use them after school, between classes and whenever class gets out early.
• Telling the hall-monitor-type-person all about how your family likes to make pot brownies and the hilarity that ensues after is acceptable. He will make fun of you for a while afterwards, though.
• Writing 'SEX—now that I have your attention,' on a poster telling you to submit to the school's literary magazine is not only funny, but effective.
• It is normal for your teacher(s?) to draw a smiley face on the board, label it with your name and then hit it with a yard stick. 
• Or instead of a smiley face, a tree labeled 'The Mighty Pipsqueak'.
• No one really looks twice when you see a teacher and a student racing down the hall on a cart full of laptops and a scooter, respectively.
• Watching anime during your free block is fun. Especially when three people walk over to you, ask what you're watching and recognize it and/or join in watching.
• A pizzarito is a mostly acceptable form of snack for forum. (Pizzarito: see the disfigured and disgusting cross between a pizza crust and a burrito filling. So much sour cream.)
• It is entertaining to pillage my classmates by running around in a longboat that we made at nine in the evening with my fellow vikings.
• Quidditch matches draw the attention of the entire school.
• If the theater director tells you to put the pot next to the beer and then screw in the pot, you do not question him.
• Haribo, a kiwi and chocolate are an acceptable lunch.
• People walking down the hall in a bear suit are often praised.
• Lady Gaga wins the talent show every time.
• Singing a two or more part song from Dr. Horrible is often met with people joining in the other parts and harmonizing.

I have the coolest grandma in the history of ever.

Depending on the year, I really love June eighteenth. Why?

• It's my birthday.
• School occasionally lets out on that day.
• Top of the Park usually has a movie playing that I drag all my friends to.
• Since 2002, it has marked the anniversary of my grandmother getting a liver transplant and surviving, even though the doctors weren't sure she'd last more than five years.

Let's go through the history of a few of my birthdays. 

In 2002, the year I turned seven, my grandma, Gigi, (who now lives with me and is probably one of my favorite people ever and I love a lot because she's the coolest grandma ever) was really sick and probably was about to die and she needed a liver transplant. And on my birthday, she got that transplant she needed. It was the best and worst present ever because I had to stay at my other grandparents' house all day in their basement while my mom and dad waited at the hospital. It was pretty awesome because it made her better and not die and she's still alive and probably even cooler now than she was then. I mean, she took me to a Glee concert for my birthday this year. (TRY AND TOP THAT, GUYS.)

Also this lady has survived breast cancer twice. And all these other insane things and that make me wonder how she is still breathing. BUT SHE IS. And that makes me really happy because I like to watch Glee and American Idol and Raising Hope various other awesome TV shows that most grandmothers do not watch with their grandchildren. 

So June eighteenth is the day that I was born and my grandmother was kept alive. 

Also, if you didn't notice already, my grandma is the coolest old lady ever. I love her a lot and next year will be ten years since she was fixed. We were talking in the car and she said that back in the day, she wasn't even sure she would be alive long enough to see me turn sixteen. And she is most definitely alive today. Now she's shooting for twenty-one. I think she can do it.

Also this is my hundredth post. I think it's a pretty great post.

Interrobang. Now a noun AND verb. Coming to a blog near you.

Interrobang. Wikipedia says, "A sentence ending with an interrobang asks a question in an excited manner, expresses excitement or disbelief in the form of a question, or asks a rhetorical question."


It can also be used as a verb. "THERE ARE ALIENS ON THE ROOF‽" she interrobanged.


Thought y'alls should know.

Osama Bin Laden is dead.

And people are celebrating and so excited.

And all I can think about is that he was a person too and even though he supposedly killed all those people, it doesn't really give you the right to kill him/celebrate his death.

I don't know. Would you really be that happy if someone was killed? I'm just reminded of my hate for how the world works.

The Day of Silence

Friday is the Day of Silence. (Click that link for more info.) You don't talk at school/work/wherever. All day. You would be my favorite person ever if you did this. I'm doing it and from what it sounds like, half of my school is as well. Gay rights is really something that people should stand up for. Do it if you're straight or gay or trans or a unicorn.

Not cool, guys. Gotta stop the hate.

Very uncool still.

I think this needs to be fixed.

Pretty embarrassed to live in a state whose color means zero.

Come on, guys. Basic human rights. Stop the hate.

If you want to check out a cool website that is like FCKH8!, click on those words. Though as a warning, potty words. But I love it because it's amazing.

I know I have over one hundred and fifty followers now, so if any of you guys want to comment with your position on this and maybe say if you're going to do this, please do. I'll be commenting back. If you're a jerk, I'll be sure to delete your comment.

Oops.

So it would appear that I was supposed to do the A-Z challenge thing.

It would also appear that I was supposed to do Script Frenzy.

It's April seventh and I have done neither. I am deeply sorry.

I have lost all motivation for blogging and moving and doing anything except watching Star Driver and Code Geass.

My apologies, people who actually read my blog. Here's some awesome fanart of Star Driver that everyone should see.

 So right here, we have Takuto, Head and Sugata. They are fabulous. I love them.

 This is Fish Girl and Head. Fish Girl lives in a giant birdcage in Head's bedroom. Their couple name is Fish Head. I love them a lot. Like a lot.  Also Fish Girl sings THE PRETTIEST SONG EVER. Everyone listen to it, like right now.

 This is an internet thing. There are so many of these. Original is here.

 So this guy is in a coma and Mr. Doctorman decides to squish his feet and there's this long scene of him doing weird stuff to comaman and it is SCIENCE.

 Final shot of the entire series. Made me so happy.

 

So this is the TAUBURN ACTION FIGURE THING that I want and if my mommy's reading this, I want it.

 FISH HEAD!

 Peacock feathers and manliness.

 Star Driver gives great advice for bros, if any of you people out there are looking for some tips.

 Oh yeah. :D I love Fish Head.

Is there much to say about this one?


So, some of them might be too small to read, but if you clicky click on them, it'll make them bigger! Also everyone should watch this anime because it's the best thing EVER.

Fish.

That is all.

I think I died a little on the inside just now.

You guys (hopefully) read my post about how I entered a contest for an epic scholarship, etc, etc. Today was the day to find out if I won and I didn't. And I didn't think I'd be this distraught, but looks like I am. Golly.

In other news, it's tech week, opening night is Thursday, though we're having a pseudo-performance on our final dress (tomorrow) because all the other nights sold out.  I'm so exhausted, and I don't have the brain to keep up with my blog, let alone all the zillions that I follow.

Enjoy this picture of a kitten because I have nothing else better to type type type about.

Hey look, I found this contest!

No one should sign up for this contest because I want to win, okay? Also the formatting on here is weird.

I hate the world so much right now.

I hate the world because of THIS BOOK.

This book. Because I just finished it three minutes ago and I am ANGRY. I am extremely angry. Because the last words before the acknowledgments were END OF BOOK ONE. NO. THIS IS NOT ALLOWED.

I do not approve. I do not approve AT ALL. Because that's what happened when I finished The Hunger Games and I had to WAIT FOR CATCHING FIRE (actually to get an ARC) and then I had to WAIT FOUR MONTHS LONGER THAN EVERYONE ELSE FOR MOCKINGJAY. And then it ended horribly but they STILL BECAME SOME OF MY FAVORITE BOOKS.

I don't want this to happen again. The second one is supposedly already out but goodreads tells me that the third isn't and if I have time, I'll get the second in the next week or so and I'll be WAITING. And WAITING.

And THIS BOOK, my friends is HORRIFYING. But I love it and I couldn't put it down and I read reviews of it on goodreads and everyone says they hate how horrible and unlikeable the characters are and how much the narration sucks but when there's an awesome story like this I really don't care because this book is HORRIFYING AND I AM GOING TO HAVE NIGHTMARES.

And it's already quarter to one. In the morning. Looks like I won't be getting much sleep, don'tcha think?

Prepare for a review in the near future.

In which my brain explodes thinking about how many things I have to do.

Hello everyone. It has come to my attention (through an annoying person who apparently often checks my blog for new posts) that I haven't blogged in a week. SEE?! This is me blogging.

I have survived the journey from Mexico back home. In case you guys were wondering.

I am also suddenly busy. It would seem that Romeo and Juliet is running at us. The performances are in less than three weeks. Good golly.

My brain is exploding with homework and reading all these books and blogs (good golly I'm so far behind).

I also have to make dinner tonight! I'm making chicken fried rice and it is delicious. I was supposed to make it in Mexico, but I got hit in the face with a frisbee. It hurt. A lot. I've still got the remnants of a bruise, but it's mostly gone. :D

I didn't have school today and tomorrow I don't have to go in until noon and eleven the next day. It was pretty boss.

I finished the book A Kiss in Time by Alex Flinn. Alex Flinn, if you didn't know is the author of Beastly, which I read a few years ago and now the movie's coming out and Friday and I'm really excited because I loved that book and the Olsen twin that's in the movie looks fabulous. Also Neil Patrick Harris. He's in this movie. He's Kyle's blind tutor. He's awesome and I want to steal him and keep him in my closet he's so amazing.

Back to A Kiss in Time. It was horrible. It read kinda like it was meant for a ten year old but the content wasn't stuff you'd read at ten. Jell-o shots, almost rape, kissing passed out chicks, y'know. The stuff you want your fifth grader reading. It was a good story, just written horribly. Beastly was better. Why was it written horribly? The last sentence of every chapter was just SO STUPID. For example...

• I am free—at least for an hour!
• My last thought as I hit the ground is, I should have listened to Lady Brooke.
• "Woah!"
• And that's when she screams.
• I should have stayed with the tour!
• Certainly not my father.
• Then I hear a scream.
• And then everything goes black.
• Then everything goes from black to blacker.
• The room is empty.
• In the still, black nothingness, I return to sleep.
• No chance but Jack.
• Where is Jack?

Just about every chapter ends with a once sentence paragraph. Also an exclamation mark. It's horrible and sounds like a little kid's book. Also the name sounds like a trashy romance novel.

I must go make my dinner and be fabulous and dance around. I'll blog again eventually.

This is my OH GOLLY face.

This is me in the process of my oh golly face. I do this a lot.

This is the pool that's attached to the Palapa and you can go up to a bar in the water.

This is my dog. I don't know why it's in with all these pictures.

This is a zoomed out picture of the pool and palapa and the ocean and everything. It's the view from my grandparents/auntuncle&cousin's balcony.

This is the pirate ship that is currently like a half-mile away or more and it's really loud. It's fun at first because they fire fake cannons, but then it's annoying because you can hear them talking and the music from all that ways away.

 So these are pictures of Mexico that we took today. You can pretty much tell what's going on from the captions. It's really fun and it's dark which I don't understand because it's WARM. But whatever because it's fun while it's dark out and I think I'm getting an awesome tan which is good because I was getting really white. 

Enjoy these lovely pictures. :D Also this is the first time I've ever posted a picture of me on this blog.

I'm alive, only barely.

Hello my fabulous readers. I am currently in Cancun, Mexico and the temperature is just right, but this wind we have, it's pretty chilly. I was wearing my hoodie to dinner.

I took TWO airplanes to this place. I am proud to say that I didn't puke, pass out or have a full-out panic attack.

I did, however...

• Squeeze my brother's hand until it lost circulation.
• Get less than three hours of sleep last night.
• Swim with my cousins.
• Run around this fricking place, trying to figure out which stairwells lead to which place.
• Go between my grandaparents/auntunclecousin's villa and my own, which are literally on opposite sides of this place.
• See my middle school counselor.
• Have several anxiety kittens.
• Pledge to sleep as soon as I got back from dinner.
• Not keep my pledge.

I was like HMMM I'LL JUST CHECK FACEBOOK AND MY EMAIL. And then my stomach started to hurt so I decided to stay up a bit longer. 

I do believe I'll have decent internet access for the rest of this trip, so expect more random postings.

Reporting to you live, dear readers from platform nine and three-quarters in Ft. Lauderdale, Florida.

I'm waiting to get on ANOTHER plane. I took one to here, and I nearly died on the inside. Now I'm waiting for yet another. The plane I'm supposed to be on is broken and getting fixed and we're supposed to be able to board in ten or so minutes, though we probably won't be leaving until eleven.

I have been up since three.

I am delusional.

I do not like airplanes.

I am afraid to get on this other one. I would like to stay here please and maybe drive back home? That would make my freaking week.

I think I have to board now. Hope that I don't die.

I'm putting my foot down!

No more angsty blogging. Not for a while, at least.

I'm going to Mexico tomorrow and I do believe that I will be too busy lounging at the beach and being amazing to blog. I may scribble down a few ideas, but I don't believe that I'll be able to steal my father's computer other than to watch GLEE and STAR DRIVER.

If you don't know what Glee is, go shoot yourself in the foot.

If you don't know what Star Driver is, facepalm. It's not that big of a deal. Star Driver is the best anime ever and it has GIANT MECHAS WITH WOMANLY CURVES and galactic bishonen (pretty boy) and all these amazing things. And LOOK AT HEAD.

Isn't that beautiful? He's my favorite characters and he likes to flash the KIRABOSHI gang sign. So it's nothing out of the ordinary, just your normal everyday anime, LIKE NARUTO AND INUYASHA. Except not really because this is like five times cooler than all that stuff combined. So I recommend you watch it because it has a chick named Fish Girl in a giant bird cage that sings the prettiest song ever.

So this will be my post on here for a while, since I'll be in MEXICO. Actually I might blog tonight so maybe not. I'll post something not quite as stupid because this is pretty stupid and I might do another favorites thing if I'm not packing feverishly.

Why can't everyone just get along and love each other?

THIS is why I hate the world so much.

Why can't people have rights and lives that are normal?

Does it really matter that someone's white or black or pink or purple or green? Does it really matter if someone's a man or a woman or wants to bone a man or a woman? Does it really matter if someone's a woman? Does it really matter if someone has disabilities? Does it really matter if someone was born in this country or across the world or even the universe? Does it really matter if you believe in god or gods or something else entirely?

No. It doesn't matter. Because we're all people and no matter how much I may disagree and get really really really angry at the people who think otherwise, WE ARE ALL PEOPLE. If someone wants to get a job, LET THEM If someone wants to get married or visit their significant other in the hospital, LET THEM. If a woman wants to be the freaking president, LET HER. If someone wants to smash all boundaries that set them in a box, LET THEM.  If someone wants to be a freaking superstar, LET THEM. It doesn't matter.

People are stupid and why can't they let people have dreams and do things that other people take for granted. If you don't think something is moral or right or whatever, DON'T DO IT. Let other people do it and it can be on their conscious, not yours.

I don't understand why these people won't let other people have lives and love and do things and be a part of society. They're only different if YOU MARK THEM AS DIFFERENT AND TREAT THEM DIFFERENTLY.

I know I have a lot of new followers, so if you guys want to comment and tell me why/how you think these things that would make sense to a really angry fifteen-year-old, please do. Or just comment with what you think on these topics.

I just really hate the world today. Actually, a lot recently.

I have fifty plus followers. Last week I had thirty-something. Erin loves you guys.

So today is a BLOGFESTY thing. And it is FABULOUS. And I should stop being so freaking stupid and I should get on with it because I really have nothing better to blog about.

What is your favorite word?
Please see my previous post. The end of it had an entire list of a gazillion words that I love. But I think I might love synergy or paradox best. I love them so much I've used them as names. :D


What is your least favorite word?
Golly, I don't really have a least favorite word. It's like, they all express something and I feel like a horrible person if I try to deny the world that. But I kind of really don't like the word solitary. It sounds cool, but if you look at it, it's horrid. I also don't like turbulence. It kind of freaks me out.


What turns you on creatively, spiritually or emotionally?
Music.

What turns you off?
I dunno. Stupid people?

What is your favorite curse word?
Recently I've been a big fan of pseudocurses. Fork, darn, heck. I also really like screaming golly when I'm freaked out.


What sound or noise do you love?
Can I just say most music in general? I also love that noise when it's raining, but it's not and it's just misting and you can hear it.


What sound or noise do you hate?
I really hate high pitched noises as well as annoying brothers. Y'know.

What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?
Well, being a youngun' and all, I don't have a profession and I have no idea. Is that bad?


What profession would you not like to do?
Anything icky like doctors because I don't like doctors and ickiness and it scares me. Also garbageness.

If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?
I wouldn't necessarily want him to say this to me, but if he's real and junk he'd probably like 'HAHAHA YOU DIDN'T BELIEVE IN ME AND NOW YOUR (AFTER)LIFE'S GOING TO SUCK SO HA' And then I'll cry because I want to play blocks with Roy's brother and he's probably not let me. (Does anyone get that reference?)

I'd really like to post a picture on here, but I'm my mother's computer since I turned my computer off and I had just remembered that I needed to post this. I'll be back to edit this with pictures tomorrow.

This is when I realize that senior year will be full of this.

Last night I submitted an application to this fabulous liberal arts academy. I entered a contest last year for a thirty thousand dollar scholarship for my writing. I was like 'eh, it's never going to happen, but it'll be fun to just try it out'.

I got an email mid-January telling me 'OH GOLLY YOU NEED TO START PANIC ATTACKING BECAUSE WE'RE GOING TO MAKE YOUR LIFE STRESSFUL AND HAHAHA.' Actually it said that I was a finalist for the thing. It was good at first because it was all YAY HAPPINESS. But then they were all 'we recommend that you come and visit our campus which is a four and a half hour drive from where you live. We also want you to fill out an application to see if you're eligible and that costs a lot of money so HAHAHA. And you need to have it all done in a month.'

So I have been very freaky-outy this last month and there's been finals and a new semester. But I have amazing classes that are amazing (I think that's a given, right?) even though I have epic amounts of homework now.

And I have come to realized that in less than two years, I'll be doing this all over again. Times like, a gazillion. This most definitely gives me hope for my mental stability in the future.

But enough about angst, I need to do an interesting blog post.

I have recently forced my grandmother to read the Uglies trilogy by THE best author out there, Scott Westerfeld. She loves it and is currently on Extras. Next up for her? The Hunger Games. If I can find my copy. I do believe it was stolen by one of my friends and I can't remember to save my life who.

I will finish this post off with some of my favorite words that are known to me in the English language. That I can think of right now, at least.

• Synergy
• Advesperate
• Paradox
• Mystery
• Squish
• Fish
• Omniscient
• Octopus
• Shine
• Chrome
• Recycle
• Fabulous
• Terrific
• Vacuum
• Crotchety
• Word
• Widdershins
• Reality
• Magenta
• Bliss
• Cataclysm
• Neat
• Dandy
• Dictionary
• Barcoded
• Bewitch
• Ergo

And those are all the ones I can think of right now at this very moment. I'm sure there are more. I really love words that sound like their meaning. Y'know?

Nice to see you with the living!

I have no idea what the title is about, but I like that quote. It's from Avatar: the Last Airbender.

Speaking of Avatar, Legend of Korra comes out later this year. You can bet your face that I am so geeked out.

There are also some movies that I want to see that are coming out later this year.

• Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part Two. This one's a given. I mean, how can you NOT want to see this. It'll wrap up the best movie/book combo ever. And I'll cry and be sad after seeing it at middnight.

• Beastly. Coincidentally, both this and Harry Potter were, in fact, both books. This is a modern New York spin-off of Beauty and the Beast and the book is really awesome and the movie is going to have Neil Patrick Harris in it and it'll be amazing.

• Gnomeo and Juliet. Romeo and Juliet but gnomes. It's amazing.

Also I hate the world. Just wanted to let everyone know that and I believe that I'll be blogging about that in the very near future.

Also, for fun, I've joined a crusade thingy. Because I was promised to see epic blogs and get more followers.

Also I hate the world more. Charlotte's sitting next to me here in the library, doing her online Civics class. And everything just makes me want to die and/or cry and/or take over the world. You choose.

Panic attacks and me.

 I have noticed that blogging about things often makes me feel better about them. Be warned, this is one of my posts that is full of me freaking out.

I’ve always been the kind of person who is paranoid and freaks out and has just… way too many phobias. I’ve really accepted this and tried to function as a normal person.

In the last year, my freaky-outyness has reached a peak. I’m afraid to call people that I don’t know (and sometimes people I do know) and I can’t talk to people and all that jazz. Last night was the peakiest peak of that.

Last night was weird. I was getting ready for bed and all of a sudden I felt weird.  My chest pains (if you haven’t already heard, I have horrible chest pains all the time for no apparent reason, but I’m not having a heart attack I think) got worse and my arm felt funny and I got dizzy and cold and just a bunch of horrid stuff. And I thought I was going to die or something.

Fast forward to about two hours ago.  I was chatting with my wife and telling her how I kept on thinking I was going to die these past few days. And then I thought about what had happened. And I was like WOAH aren’t some of those symptoms of panic attacks. And my brain went YES. And my brain went GOOGLE!

So I went to google. And Wikipedia. I read all of the symptoms on wiki and it freaked me out because just about every symptom listed was how I felt. And it was terrifying and augh.

In short, I’m freaking out about that a little. Possibly having another panic attack about having a panic attack.

I think that is probably the extent of this blog post. I’m trying to keep it short, though I want to freak out a little. I don’t usually blog about stuff like this, I prefer blogging about stupid stuff.

Kittens.

That is all.

Page ninety-nine!

So I decided to do this blogfest. It's where you post the ninety-ninth page of your novel. And I signed up, thinking that I would have SOMETHING.

Turns out, exactly halfway through page ninety-nine is where my novel starts to deteriorate and become just a random spew of my brain that involves the characters getting into a ghetto fight and talking about feminism among other things. It was really late and the last few days of NaNo. I can't really make an excuse other than that.

Even though people will be all 'WHAT NOW.' when they read it, I feel like it gives insight to kinda what kinda sorta goes on inside my brain. :D

Without further ado...

"No," he shuddered. "She seemed a bit crazy and...clingy. I didn't want to have her near me."

"Well, she's showing how crazy she can be." Nesca smiled at the both of them.

"A fan club, though?" Chemile raised his eyebrows. "I know you're amazing and all, but do you really need a fan club?"

"I guess he does." Nesca patted Quintille's head. "And I'm going to be the first person besides her to join it. Just to piss you off."

"You wouldn't dare."

"I'll lead them right to your door and everything. You know... unless you decide to make me a mayor."

"I told you I would think about it."

"I bet she's wondering where you live. I'll just head on home and send her a message to tell her your room number."

"OH HELL NAWWWWWWWWW." Quintille took off his earrings and handed them to Chemile. "Hold my earrings for me. This is going to get messy."

They then started circling each other like sumos and Quintille body slammed Nesca to the ground.

Chemile clapped like the good little first lady he was and then gave Quintille his earrings back. He suddenly poofed into an evening gown and struck a pose. "Quintille and Chemile one, Nesca ZEROOOOOOOOOO."

Nesca got up and tried to catch a fish, but started crying instead. "All those sumo lessons. For nothing."

"I was always the stronger one," Quintille said over his shoulder. "I always beat you in fights."

"I guess they were right, back in the day. Girls are weaker than guys."

"NO YOU DIDN'T." Chemile gasped. "Anti-feminist alert! Sound the alarms!" He took off his earrings and handed them to Quintille.

"Oh no, not again."

They started to circle each other. Somehow, Chemile slipped and fell on his face. Lue sat on his head.

 Can't you tell exactly where it started falling apart?

So that's that page of my novel, and I can assure you that it only gets worse after that. Chemile starts mingling like a trophy wife and they die and Quintille turns Jamaican and starts talking about starting a bobsledding team and I break the fourth wall and loin cloths and Harry Potter and Jesus and good golly I forgot about all that. 

 This was fabulous, let's do it again soon. Preferably with a page BEFORE ninety-nine. 

What have I done tonight? Nothing, really.

So two of my big finals are tomorrow. What did I do to study/do my project?

I...

• Watched The Big Bang Theory, hoping it would make me smarter for science.
• Looked at pictures of Harry Potter characters so I could put them in my powerpoint.
• Glanced at a punnett square or two.
• Lolcat'd.
• Drank grape juice.
• Thought about blogging.
• Actually blogged.
• Chatted with people I used to know on facebook.
• Ran through my little 'i, isti, it, imus, istis, erunt' song in my head so I would remember perfect tense conjugations.
• Made the sexiest powerpoint in the history of ever.
• Rocked out to Ke$ha. (Pronounced KUH-DOLLAR SIGN-HAA!)
• Remembered the parts that I forgot/screwed up on in my scene for my acting final.
• Angsted about the dress I had to wear for you acting final.
• Ate coffee ice cream.

I think that it was very productive.
I really should be off to finish my review sheet for Latin, but y'know, I can do that during the half hour I have from when my bus comes and I need to take the test. And plus, Latin is my one of my best subjects.
What would YOU do?

If you were me, you would sit and find more things to blog about. Such as bucket lists, favorites and kittens. But then fail.

Musicy blogfest!

So I am doing this blogfesty thing. It's set to be for tomorrow, but since finals start tomorrow, I'm doing it early. And it looks like it will be posted when I'm done unless I can set it to pop up here tomorrow at some point.

So the blogfest is a musicy one (if you didn't click that lovely link I provided for y'all) and I have to have my top ten favorite songs. This is taking deep thought. INSANE THOUGHT. It just took fifteen minutes to go through my playlist of favorite songs (over eight hundred of those) and then fifteen more to actually narrow down the twenty I had gotten from those. (All the links are links to youtube)

10.  My Eyes/On the Rise—Neil Patrick Harris and Felicia Day

I don't know why I love this. It's probably because it has Neil Patrick Harris and it's from Dr. Horrible and it's the first song from the Sing-Along-Blog that I actually learned the lyrics to. :D It makes me very happy because Neil Patrick Harris is like... Jesus or something.

9. This Is How I Disappear—My Chemical Romance

I must admit to having a semi-secret love for MCR. I'm always making fun of it because it's always like 'MCR IS SO GOFFIK' in My Immortal, but they really are fabulous and I spent a lot of eighth and ninth grade listening to them and I still totally do, but not as much.

8. In Which Draco and Harry Secretly Want To Make Out—The Whomping Willows

How can you not love wrock? And it's shipping Drarry, so what's not to love? It's also catchy and slightly earwormish. I think the title really says it all.

7. To Live Forever—Planet P Project

I must say that this song is creepy and terrifying and it's not a good idea to listen to this on a CD in the dark, on the way back home when you're looking out your window, thinking you're spotting zombies. My alternate title for this song is 'Don't Drink the Water' and I think it's kinda more fitting. Also, parts of this song remind me of Across the Universe (I totally did a BOOK REVIEW on that like, two posts ago!).

6. Love Songs (They Kill Me)—Cinema Bizarre

I have to admit that I went through this little phase a little less than a year ago where it was just CINEMA BIZARRE <3. And it hasn't really completely worn off (though it mostly faded when they BROKE UP). I still have a love for this song and the music video (the link) is creepy and amazing and that whole band is pretty and they're all men, in case you were wondering.

5. Schrei—Tokio Hotel

Tokio Hotel is godly and I love them. And this song is amazing, though it is in German. There's an English version (Scream) but I think this is a gazillion times better. Also he was really young in the video and looks really adorable. (By the way, Tokio Hotel and Cinema Bizarre are similar (in the way that they're pretty and German) but they are both equally awesome.)

4. Libra—MUCC

 I am a j-rock fan. J-rock is amazing especially with MUCC. I also love Horizont by them which is my second favorite song by them and only appears in my top thirty favorite songs. I love this song because it's like, Japanish hardcore rock and they're like almost rapping (which I hate) at the same time because they're talking so freaking fast. At least in my mind.

3. Nymphetamine Fix—Cradle of Filth

I love this musics along with pop-like-music (like Lady Gaga, Katy Perry and Ke$ha). I have a wide variety of tastes (except I can't stand rap). I think this song is amazing because it combines such prettyful singing with SCREAMY stuff. It makes me all warm and fuzzy on the inside. Also, coincidentally, I have discovered that blasting this song really loud gets rid of headaches. Which doesn't make much sense, but whatever.

2. Wasted Time—Fuel

I don't even know how I discovered this band/song. I do believe I was at the library and I was flipping through CDs and I thought the album art was cool so I checked it out and loved it. Though this is definitely NOT my favorite band, it often switches back and forth with number one as my favorite song.

1. King For A Day—Planet P Project

I don't know what my favorite band is, though this band has two songs in my top ten favorite songs list, so I'm thinking that it's up there. I think that this song is amazing and it tells a story (that is just part of the story that its entire album has, actually, all their albums tell stories. The other song on this list is towards the beginning of another album and it's about a guy getting superpowers by drinking the water. Makes sense, eh?) and it's just really awesome and I love it.

That is my blog for the day of my favorite musics. :D

Wish me luck on my finals!

There are giant slabs of concrete connecting the world.

You will rarely find a place (that is, in the U.S.) that you can't get to by road (dirt, concrete, asphalt, etc).

If you guys hadn't heard, I went on a ROAD TRIP last night and today (I AM BACK NOW AFTER THINKING THAT I WAS GOING TO DIE BECAUSE OF THE SNOW). It took four hours (give or take a half hour) to get there (and then back). During that time it was dark and I was tired and bored and I can't sleep in cars so I just thought.

And y'know what I thought? I thought about how many FREAKING roads and highways there are. They cut clear through forests and give reason for people to drive drive drive and kill kill kill the world.

I think that's stupid.

I was also thinking about what Scott Westerfeld said at a book event thingy. He was talking about how roads and highways connect everything. But in two (almost three) of his books, Leviathan and Behemoth, they use walkers. And the walkers don't need roads. And he said that the world could have easily gone that way. Screw wheels, legs are more efficient. (If any of you read my post on fabulousness from the booky thingy when Scott Westerfeld came to town, I couldn't find the picture of a kid wearing a fez and on a walker thing and THIS IS IT.)

But we decided that killing things and taking up so many resources is a good idea. I know what you're saying. 'BUT ERIN CONCRETE IS STUPID AND NO ONE CARES ABOUT USING IT UP!' but I'm saying that all the zillions and gabillions of signs they use every few feet is a waste of metal. Also the concrete takes up space that could totally be used for like, fixing the freaking world because stupid global warming.

So pretty much what I was thinking is that the world is stupid. You have heard me angst enough, I am tired (I totally walked like, five miles today D:) and I'm going to bed now.

Across the Universe!

Okay, so I just finished the book Across the Universe by Beth Revis. I saw on some other blogs recommendations for it and I got it and I totally couldn't put it down. I should be packing right now (ROAD TRIP) but I haven't blogged in a while, so I decided so do this instead. Don't y'alls love me?

This book is dystopian, which implies sci-fi, but it seems more sci-fi than most dytopian books and it's also a mystery and slightly romancey. But not really.

I am going to try and give a summary (WITHOUT SPOILERS!) in three sentences. Wish me luck.

Main chick (Amy) gets cyrogenicly(sp?) frozen to go to Centauri-Earth (a new planet that Earth discovered) because it takes 300 years to get there and her parents (being fabulous (military and scientist people) were chosen to go along and she was brought along. She is unfrozen in an attempt at murder and meets love interest (Elder), a leader (Eldest) in training because people live on the ship, keeping people alive to wake up frozens (they create new technologies and make sure the ship's running smoothly too). Together, main chick and love interest uncover the secrets of the ship and discover that love interest has been living a lie and together, they try and figure out who's killing the frozen people and why.

That counts as three sentences, right? RIGHT?
It totally does.

This book has officially gone to the top (ish) of my favorite books. The current order of favorite books (trilogies too) are Uglies, Hunger Games and then ACROSS THE UNIVERSE.

So I would like to say that it's a good part if you're good at not imagining things. If you are, prepare to be a little freaked out. The first chapter alone made me want to put the book down and never read it again because it described (in detail) the process of freezing people. And it's freaky.

There were a lot of things I definitely wasn't expecting thrown in. I'm not saying that they were thrown in randomly. They had crucial plotness to them and I totally wasn't expecting it.

CHARACTERS!

Main chick/Amy—She's kinda annoying, daddy's girl, but overall, a pretty strong protagonist. She's really angsty, but she has reason to... to a point.

Love interest/Elder—He's cool. He's the rebellious teenager in the line for ruling over the people. And he's a slight liar.

Kinda-semi-antagonist/Eldest—He's mean and stuff. But yet again, he has reason to. He's fifty-six and has been in charge for a gazillion years (since he was twenty, I think) and he knows the horrid (really horrid) deep dark secrets of the ship and he keeps them away from everyone and he comes across this way until the very end. When something mostly unexpected happens.

I don't really think there are any other MAIN characters other than Elder's best friend whose name I can't remember, though I finished the book just a few hours ago.

This is definitely one of those books that like, sticks in your head and you just want to make everyone read it.

Many stars, everyone read it. Now.

O, then I see Queen Mab hath been with you.

So I'm trying out for Romeo and Juliet tomorrow after school. Not good. I don't have my monologue completely memorized. I was only reminded of my audition by my friend-person, Etsie (also known as the person who cut my hair) when she typed out her monologue on her blog.

So I do believe I'm going to do the same as her to try and memorize it. I've got most of it down, just a bit of word order.

I'm pretty sure I mostly want to be Mercutio. I'm doing the Queen Mab monologue. In my opinion, it's easily the best thing ever written. That doesn't mean that I know what it means. And we have to know what it means. This is a cut-down version of it, because we only have to do twenty lines at the most.

Ready. Set. Go.

O, then I see Queen Mab hath been with you.
She is the faerie's midwife and she comes
In shape no bigger than an agate stone
Drawn with a team of little Atomies
Over men's noses as they lie asleep.
Her chariot is an empty hazelnut,
And in the state she gallops night by night
Through lovers' brains and then they dream of love;
O'er courtier's knees, that dream on curtsies straight;
O'er lawyer's fingers, who straight dream on fees'
O'er ladies' lips, who straight on kisses dream,
Sometimes she driveth o'er a soldier's neck,
And then dreams he of cutting foreign throats
Drums in his ear, at which he starts and wakes,
And thus being frightened swears a prayer or two,
And sleeps again.
This is the hag, when maid lie on their backs,
That presses them and learns them first to bear,
Making them women of good carriage.
This is she

I have to admit that after the soldier's neck part, I kept glancing down at the sheet. I don't think I've got this. Well, I've got lunch tomorrow and time after school to practice. Hopefully my friends will put up with me.

I think I need to type it out one more time. Maybe not with all the capitalization and punctuation being perfect, though. Because I totally went back and made sure it was all good.

O then I see Queen Mab hath been with you. She is the faerie's midwife and comes in shape no bigger than an agate stone. Drawn with a team of little atomies, over men's noses as the lie asleep. Her chariot is an empty hazelnut and in this state, she gallops night by night through lover's brains and then they dream of love. O'er courtier's knees that dream on curtsies straight. O'er lawyer's fingers who straight dream on fees. O'er ladies' lips who straight on kisses dream. Sometimes she driveth o'er a soldier's neck. So then dreams he of cutting foreign throats. Drums in his ear, so that he starts and wakes. And being thus frightened, swears a prayer or two and sleeps again. This is the hag when maids lie on the their backs that presses them and learns them first to bear making them women of good carriage. This is she.


Golly, that one was more from memory than the first time. I was thinking about doing it again, but my hands hurt and it's past midnight and I think I need to do other homework.

I'll start on my lists of favorites soon.

NaNo-type BLOGFEST!

So this blogfest is called Show Me Yours.

It's a thing where you post part of your NaNo novel. And I usually wouldn't do that, but why not? I'm feeling WHIMSICAL today. Except that sounds weird. So, five hundred words or less. I think I can do that.

I do believe I'll be doing my favorite part, which also happens to be the most polished part. Which isn't really saying much.

A little background on the novel. The characters are Quintille and Chemile (and Ion makes a small appearance at the very beginning). Quintille's the president of (City) Two's son. Chemile is a friend. They live on a flying city, and this is when two of the five flying cities are docking to trade people and technology. Some of the people being traded are most of my main characters. Chemile's girlfriend fell off of the side of the dock. Obviously he's all freaky-outy and thinks it's his fault. I hope that makes sense.

The safety wasn't there. Her foot slipped off of the edge and she fell down, towards the Earth, without a safe-parachute to catch her. Without him to lean forward in time to catch her.

Chemile began screaming. "I thought you said there was a safety!" he ran down the center of the dock, back toward Two.

"I guess there was some sort of mistake, sir." The woman who was calling names spoke without emotion, like a robot.

"Didn't you see that? She fell off the edge! She's dead."

"I'm sorry. I will check with our servers and get the safeties back up. I don't know what happened. But she was unauthorized to be on there. She would have been detained anyway, had she not fallen."

There was another 'vrrrrmmm' sound and the safety started back up.

"Now if you'll cross over to Five, please."

He didn't move.

"Sir. Please."

Chemile walked slowly over to Five and he went straight to his room, as soon as he found his way around. He still had no idea who his roommate was. He collapsed on one of the beds.

When it was finally Quintille's turn to go across, he walked down the middle, afraid that the safeties would fail again. He, like Chemile, went to his room without stopping to see the city. Quintille sat down next to Chemile and hugged him until he stopped crying.

There had been warnings that they were going to undock. The room flashed red and there were warnings similar to the warnings that were on Two. "We will be undocking in an hour. Please prepare yourself accordingly." This time, instead of Quintille's father, it was the president of Five's voice. A woman's voice. She sounded nice. Quintille wondered what her name was while he sat there with Chemile.

Every once in a while they would have a three sentence conversation.

"Are you okay?" Quintille would ask.

"No."

"Okay."

Quintille would go back sitting next to him, hugging him, or holding his hand while he cried. He watched the clock on the wall and when it was time for them to eat, he ignored the hungry feeling in his stomach. He didn't know if the room would fetch them food and he didn't want to leave Chemile. The conversation stayed to three sentences, but gradually progressed.

"Are you okay?"

"I don't know," Chemile paused. "Maybe."

"Okay."

The room flashed red and the warning sounded. "We will be undocking in five minutes. Please prepare yourself accordingly." Quintille wondered why he had missed the other warnings. Or were there not other warnings?

After they undocked, Quintille nearly fell off the bed. They had another simple conversation.

"Are you okay?

"I think so."

"Do you want food?"

"Sure."

I think the font color might be a little weird, and if it is, I don't know how to fix it.  Also, I can't stop it from indenting. This is weird. Anyway, that's what I have. Comments?

I have found topics for my next forty posts!

I have decided to do lists of favorites.

I've got some pretty generic ones, but also some cool ones.

I won't do them in order, but I will do them on a regular basis. Maybe three or more times a week.

I will be doing my favorite....

• Poems
• Countries
• Animals
• Months
• Planets
• Colors
• Songs
• Blogs
• Places
• Bands
• Days
• Games
• Things in my room
• Numbers
• Candies
• Shapes
• Sports
• TV shows
• Places
• Smells
• Books
• Words
• Names (legitimate names)
• Names (that I made up or ones from books)
• Websites
• Foods
• Sports
• Letters
• Condiments
• Quotes
• Fruits
• Instruments
• Fears
• Movies
• Ice cream flavors
• Vegetables
• Characters
• Animes/mangas
• Days of the week
• Bracelets
• Blog posts
• Favorites 

Of course, I won't just be listing them off, I'll be saying why and having beautiful pictures. Expect the coolest things ever.

I will probably add to this list. If you have any suggestions, comment with what to add.

Eye candy!

So there's this blogfest that looks really fabulous. And I decided, hey, it would be fun and I could get away with using this as my post for the day.

I hope that it's okay if I post it technically a little after when it's supposed to be done.

Also, I hope it doesn't violate the rules to do several pictures. Because I have some in many different things. Let's just pretend that last sentence made sense.

So this year, for NaNo, I wrote my novel and I totally won. This is the screenshot I took after running around my house screaming for several minutes. This screenshot is my pride and joy. If it gets deleted or anything, now I will know that it is safe on the internet, right here on my trusty ol' blog.

So this is something fabulous I found somewhere on the internet. It makes me really happy and that's really all I have to say about it.

I hope this one isn't cut off because it's wide. But it's really cool. I found it on a website on stumbleupon and I would totally link to it if I remembered what it was. They pretty much took little kid's drawings and set them up how they would look in real life and took pictures. This one was my favorite of the twenty or so.

This one is something that makes me laugh until I die. I play soccer and it's hilarious and amazing and makes me giggle and I show it to all of my friends all the time and I'm sure they're so pissed at me, but whatever I love it so much.

Who doesn't love Hello Kitty? Especially when it's a real kitty that looks like her.

I had to include a demotivator. It's so adorable. I want this picture to have my cakes. It's pretty fab.

 This is the DEATH MELON. The Death Melon is the most amazing thing ever. I've had it on my computer for probably two years. I've deleted so many pictures, but this one I've kept. Just because it's so amazing.

Okay, this used to be my desktop for ages and I know you can't see it on here, but if you click on it, it will be pretty. It's basically a map if the land was water and the water was land. Which is like, pretty freaking awesome.

This is my favorite fat unicorn in the world. You know, it may be the only fat unicorn in the world. But I think that this is beautiful and hope that more will flood the internet soon.

 I decided to end this eye candy thing on a beautiful giant chunk of eye candy. This is BILL KAULITZ. He sings in Tokio Hotel and is easily the sexiest thing ever. I want his hair.

That is all I've got and I would like to say that I didn't mean to steal any pictures if I did.

That is all.