There are giant slabs of concrete connecting the world.

You will rarely find a place (that is, in the U.S.) that you can't get to by road (dirt, concrete, asphalt, etc).

If you guys hadn't heard, I went on a ROAD TRIP last night and today (I AM BACK NOW AFTER THINKING THAT I WAS GOING TO DIE BECAUSE OF THE SNOW). It took four hours (give or take a half hour) to get there (and then back). During that time it was dark and I was tired and bored and I can't sleep in cars so I just thought.

And y'know what I thought? I thought about how many FREAKING roads and highways there are. They cut clear through forests and give reason for people to drive drive drive and kill kill kill the world.

I think that's stupid.

I was also thinking about what Scott Westerfeld said at a book event thingy. He was talking about how roads and highways connect everything. But in two (almost three) of his books, Leviathan and Behemoth, they use walkers. And the walkers don't need roads. And he said that the world could have easily gone that way. Screw wheels, legs are more efficient. (If any of you read my post on fabulousness from the booky thingy when Scott Westerfeld came to town, I couldn't find the picture of a kid wearing a fez and on a walker thing and THIS IS IT.)

But we decided that killing things and taking up so many resources is a good idea. I know what you're saying. 'BUT ERIN CONCRETE IS STUPID AND NO ONE CARES ABOUT USING IT UP!' but I'm saying that all the zillions and gabillions of signs they use every few feet is a waste of metal. Also the concrete takes up space that could totally be used for like, fixing the freaking world because stupid global warming.

So pretty much what I was thinking is that the world is stupid. You have heard me angst enough, I am tired (I totally walked like, five miles today D:) and I'm going to bed now.

Scott Westerfeld is one of my own personal gods.

So tonight, Scott Westerfeld visited my fabulous town of towniness. Disclaimer: Read the title of this post.

So he came and spoke and signed books and answered questions and I was so excited and I almost cried and I had an internal panic attack and it was just the most amazing thing ever. While he was speaking, I decided to write down some quotes. They're pretty amazing, though a few need to be explained.

• While talking about where he/other authors get their ideas... "We make shit up... (he glances over to the one or two young children in the crowd) Sorry, kids."
• Discussing creepy dentists... "Where do you want your teeth to be in five years?"
• When talking about his books being translated into other languages, he talks about flipping through a french version of Uglies and says "I know that hoverboard is planche." 
• He asks a question that no one knows the answer to, someone guesses it, and guesses correctly: "...Yes.......But you're just guessing that!"
• While he was showing us slides about how hand-drawn pictures disappeared from books in the 1920's because of cameras, he said "It's such an early camera, notice how the camera is hand-drawn."
• Right after what was said above, "People did not get imaginations in 1920, they got THE CAMERA!"
• A slide in the powerpoint popped up of a walker (something from Leviathan, if you haven't read it, read it). Read it in a whiny voice. "Why is it a giant walking tank?"
• I don't really remember what relevance it had to what he was talking about, but he was talking about TV... "I secretly hope that either the doctor or the lawyer is a vampire... or an alien."
• This one takes a kinda long explanation. So apparently he was talking to Keith Thompson, the guy who does his art, and he told him to just draw a chase scene (I believe) and he did and he came up with this and he said    that the walker was kind of ridiculous and that no one would ever make something like that. And then we were showed a real picture of a kid on something exactly like it, wearing a fez, found by Keith Thompson. It was strangely scary and I wish I could find it on google, but I can't, since I can't remember the name. But anyway, apparently, when the illustrator sent that picture to him... "And he said, "OH REALLY?" After that being called lame.
• This needs no explanation. "Which I think means totally fucking stupid. That kid does not look happy. Which is partially fez-related."
• "I can't get in a fight with Keith, he's Canadian!"
• When he showed us a photo of a diorama made to show his illustrator how he wanted a picture to be set up, we laughed and he said "Surely you are not laughing at my diorama."
• As he was discussing how to honor Australia in Leviathan... "It was either a tazmanian tiger or the Sydney Opera House."
• Think of the same whiny voice as that other quote at the beginning. "So why is it a jellyfish, Scott?"
• Basically a summary of how the Darwinists came to be in Leviathan: "If Origin of Species was a cookbook."
• "Between asymmetry and people jumping off of shit, you can write a billion novels."
• When he was talking about when he was thinking about adding another book to the trilogy just for extra art... "This is a trilogy! We can't have a fourth book!"
• Discussing realizing spacing... "I had to replance 'Alek crossed his legs' with 'Alek crossed his eyes.'"
• Showing off fanart... "You can tell it's manga because it's windy!"

So those were the highlights of Scott Westerfeld coming and being fabulous. He is a genius and fabulous and he should definitely make this place a permanent stop on his tour list. I also got four books signed. It would have been five (maybe six) if two friends had returned Behemoth and Pretties to me in time. D:<

So for all of you that live around here and didn't go and like his writing, you guys are big stupid-heads because that's stupid because he is fabulous and stupid-heads.

My mother almost kinda-sorta could have run over an old man on Saturday.

I am very well aware that it's been...er... more than a week since I last blogged. I feel quite terrible about it. But I do not feel terrible that I am actually doing my homework and I'm doing extracurricular things as well. And I'm not being the anti-social person I was last year, cause last year I would go home as soon as school was over and just sleep.

Also, I was planning on posting this two days ago (Saturday) but then Blogger decided to hate me and when it started working again, Firefox quit, so I took it as a sign that I was not meant to blog that night.

So. Attention all ye stalkers. I'm going to be giving hints whereish I liveish. Not really kinda. But if you're an amazing stalker, then I bet you can figure it out. Not that I'm inviting you to do that or anything. But yeah. But I'm only giving this disclaimer because I have a flag counter that says that I have viewers from other countries. So maybe people other than my friends read this.

So. We live in a town where we have obnoxious football fans storming the stadium once a week during the fall. And it just so happens that my mother's friend from like... middle school that she still nerds with weekly is a policey person who has to make sure people don't get themselves run over. And so my mother decides most every week to be a nice person and bring her hot chocolate or chocolate or something yummy so that she doesn't die. I'm always forces along because my mother has to drive and I hop out and we meet at a secret location.

On this occasion, people were being stupider than usual and biking into the street in front of us while we're going pretty fast and they're walking in the street and augh. And we were stopped kinda close to where my mom's friend was. So I was all 'Hey, I'll just get out now, toodles.'

AND THERE'S THIS OLD MAN ON THE SIDEWALK. And I don't know what he's doing. Right before I got out, it looked like he was going in a circle or something. And when I got out, I think I might have freaked him out or something, and he fell in front of my mother's car. She was stopped. But he was still on the ground. And I was just standing there with my jaw on the ground, holding a hot cocoa while some smart people from the sidewalk help him up. And my mom told me to leave the scene of the crime, which I totally think was illegal or something. And I delivered the hot cocoa all shocked-like.

That was my little adventure of the week.

I'm home sick today from school since my darling wifey probably gave me her disease. I have the icky sore throat and I couldn't sleep at all last night. And I think I will wrap up this post so that I can eat ice cream and watch a sick movie.

Rosenplantz and Guildenfern are dead.

I really don't know how people post such long and in-depth bloggy things. I always get an idea and I'm like OOOH! I COULD WRITE AN ENTIRE POST ABOUT THAT but then after I write it, I realize that it's no more than three paragraphs.

I think I have resolved to spice up my posts with pictures (either ones that I've taken or googles found for me). For example, this picture is the first thing that pops up if you search google images for 'picture'. I really hope that there's no 'moderator kitteh' that disapproves my submishinz.

Have I ever mentioned how much lolcats and other various icanhascheezburger? things bother me? Who says that cats can't spell? Who says that they have sucky grammar? What about dogs? Dogs are worse than those cats at spelling. Dogs probably have the spelling accuracy similar to a common teenager. For example, most teenagers (and it's becoming surprisingly common for me to see adults typing like this) communicate in weird ways: 'lol do u want 2 go 2 tha mall l8er 2day?/? we can go 2 hollister & by sum gross perfume tht i only lyk bcuz its wats cool'. I would totally go to loldogs if someone had that. Maybe I'll google it and see if there is one. OH MY GODS. There is. It's called ihasahotdog dot com. Now this site, I approve of. It's comedy gold.

If you want an entertaining site with quality pictures of that sort, try lolplants. It's even better than ihasahotdog dot com; it's plant humor. What's better than that? I don't even remember how I came across the site, but it makes me laugh a billion times more than lolcats ever will. Please invest some time in checking that out. I mean seriously. Look at that. It's like... Shakespeare humor and plant humor all in one. Can't beat that, can you? :D

Now I'm all out of things to say. See? I've written four paragraphs if you include my weird opening one and I have nothing else to say. Augh.

Maybe I should comment on my most recent Transitive Property of Logic Fail (see You Fail Logic Forever). I was watching the fifth Harry Potter movie with my brother. Dumbledore and Voldy were dueling epicly. So I decided that when Voldy breathed (is that the right word there? It doesn't seem like it.) fire, that made him Uncle Iroh from Avatar since he can breath fire epicly as well. So, in the format of that Fail!Penguin... Voldemort can breathe fire. Iroh can breathe fire. Therefore, Voldemort is Iroh (and a firebender by default). Logic: another thing that Erin isn't very good at.

I think that's all I got for today. I can't think of anything else, so I'm going to sign this post off with a demotivator.

No I haven't, but here's a deathmelon.

DEATHMELON. Toodles!