This is my OH GOLLY face.

This is me in the process of my oh golly face. I do this a lot.

This is the pool that's attached to the Palapa and you can go up to a bar in the water.

This is my dog. I don't know why it's in with all these pictures.

This is a zoomed out picture of the pool and palapa and the ocean and everything. It's the view from my grandparents/auntuncle&cousin's balcony.

This is the pirate ship that is currently like a half-mile away or more and it's really loud. It's fun at first because they fire fake cannons, but then it's annoying because you can hear them talking and the music from all that ways away.

 So these are pictures of Mexico that we took today. You can pretty much tell what's going on from the captions. It's really fun and it's dark which I don't understand because it's WARM. But whatever because it's fun while it's dark out and I think I'm getting an awesome tan which is good because I was getting really white. 

Enjoy these lovely pictures. :D Also this is the first time I've ever posted a picture of me on this blog.

I'm alive, only barely.

Hello my fabulous readers. I am currently in Cancun, Mexico and the temperature is just right, but this wind we have, it's pretty chilly. I was wearing my hoodie to dinner.

I took TWO airplanes to this place. I am proud to say that I didn't puke, pass out or have a full-out panic attack.

I did, however...

• Squeeze my brother's hand until it lost circulation.
• Get less than three hours of sleep last night.
• Swim with my cousins.
• Run around this fricking place, trying to figure out which stairwells lead to which place.
• Go between my grandaparents/auntunclecousin's villa and my own, which are literally on opposite sides of this place.
• See my middle school counselor.
• Have several anxiety kittens.
• Pledge to sleep as soon as I got back from dinner.
• Not keep my pledge.

I was like HMMM I'LL JUST CHECK FACEBOOK AND MY EMAIL. And then my stomach started to hurt so I decided to stay up a bit longer. 

I do believe I'll have decent internet access for the rest of this trip, so expect more random postings.

Reporting to you live, dear readers from platform nine and three-quarters in Ft. Lauderdale, Florida.

I'm waiting to get on ANOTHER plane. I took one to here, and I nearly died on the inside. Now I'm waiting for yet another. The plane I'm supposed to be on is broken and getting fixed and we're supposed to be able to board in ten or so minutes, though we probably won't be leaving until eleven.

I have been up since three.

I am delusional.

I do not like airplanes.

I am afraid to get on this other one. I would like to stay here please and maybe drive back home? That would make my freaking week.

I think I have to board now. Hope that I don't die.

I'm putting my foot down!

No more angsty blogging. Not for a while, at least.

I'm going to Mexico tomorrow and I do believe that I will be too busy lounging at the beach and being amazing to blog. I may scribble down a few ideas, but I don't believe that I'll be able to steal my father's computer other than to watch GLEE and STAR DRIVER.

If you don't know what Glee is, go shoot yourself in the foot.

If you don't know what Star Driver is, facepalm. It's not that big of a deal. Star Driver is the best anime ever and it has GIANT MECHAS WITH WOMANLY CURVES and galactic bishonen (pretty boy) and all these amazing things. And LOOK AT HEAD.

Isn't that beautiful? He's my favorite characters and he likes to flash the KIRABOSHI gang sign. So it's nothing out of the ordinary, just your normal everyday anime, LIKE NARUTO AND INUYASHA. Except not really because this is like five times cooler than all that stuff combined. So I recommend you watch it because it has a chick named Fish Girl in a giant bird cage that sings the prettiest song ever.

So this will be my post on here for a while, since I'll be in MEXICO. Actually I might blog tonight so maybe not. I'll post something not quite as stupid because this is pretty stupid and I might do another favorites thing if I'm not packing feverishly.

Why can't everyone just get along and love each other?

THIS is why I hate the world so much.

Why can't people have rights and lives that are normal?

Does it really matter that someone's white or black or pink or purple or green? Does it really matter if someone's a man or a woman or wants to bone a man or a woman? Does it really matter if someone's a woman? Does it really matter if someone has disabilities? Does it really matter if someone was born in this country or across the world or even the universe? Does it really matter if you believe in god or gods or something else entirely?

No. It doesn't matter. Because we're all people and no matter how much I may disagree and get really really really angry at the people who think otherwise, WE ARE ALL PEOPLE. If someone wants to get a job, LET THEM If someone wants to get married or visit their significant other in the hospital, LET THEM. If a woman wants to be the freaking president, LET HER. If someone wants to smash all boundaries that set them in a box, LET THEM.  If someone wants to be a freaking superstar, LET THEM. It doesn't matter.

People are stupid and why can't they let people have dreams and do things that other people take for granted. If you don't think something is moral or right or whatever, DON'T DO IT. Let other people do it and it can be on their conscious, not yours.

I don't understand why these people won't let other people have lives and love and do things and be a part of society. They're only different if YOU MARK THEM AS DIFFERENT AND TREAT THEM DIFFERENTLY.

I know I have a lot of new followers, so if you guys want to comment and tell me why/how you think these things that would make sense to a really angry fifteen-year-old, please do. Or just comment with what you think on these topics.

I just really hate the world today. Actually, a lot recently.

I have fifty plus followers. Last week I had thirty-something. Erin loves you guys.

So today is a BLOGFESTY thing. And it is FABULOUS. And I should stop being so freaking stupid and I should get on with it because I really have nothing better to blog about.

What is your favorite word?
Please see my previous post. The end of it had an entire list of a gazillion words that I love. But I think I might love synergy or paradox best. I love them so much I've used them as names. :D


What is your least favorite word?
Golly, I don't really have a least favorite word. It's like, they all express something and I feel like a horrible person if I try to deny the world that. But I kind of really don't like the word solitary. It sounds cool, but if you look at it, it's horrid. I also don't like turbulence. It kind of freaks me out.


What turns you on creatively, spiritually or emotionally?
Music.

What turns you off?
I dunno. Stupid people?

What is your favorite curse word?
Recently I've been a big fan of pseudocurses. Fork, darn, heck. I also really like screaming golly when I'm freaked out.


What sound or noise do you love?
Can I just say most music in general? I also love that noise when it's raining, but it's not and it's just misting and you can hear it.


What sound or noise do you hate?
I really hate high pitched noises as well as annoying brothers. Y'know.

What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?
Well, being a youngun' and all, I don't have a profession and I have no idea. Is that bad?


What profession would you not like to do?
Anything icky like doctors because I don't like doctors and ickiness and it scares me. Also garbageness.

If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?
I wouldn't necessarily want him to say this to me, but if he's real and junk he'd probably like 'HAHAHA YOU DIDN'T BELIEVE IN ME AND NOW YOUR (AFTER)LIFE'S GOING TO SUCK SO HA' And then I'll cry because I want to play blocks with Roy's brother and he's probably not let me. (Does anyone get that reference?)

I'd really like to post a picture on here, but I'm my mother's computer since I turned my computer off and I had just remembered that I needed to post this. I'll be back to edit this with pictures tomorrow.

This is when I realize that senior year will be full of this.

Last night I submitted an application to this fabulous liberal arts academy. I entered a contest last year for a thirty thousand dollar scholarship for my writing. I was like 'eh, it's never going to happen, but it'll be fun to just try it out'.

I got an email mid-January telling me 'OH GOLLY YOU NEED TO START PANIC ATTACKING BECAUSE WE'RE GOING TO MAKE YOUR LIFE STRESSFUL AND HAHAHA.' Actually it said that I was a finalist for the thing. It was good at first because it was all YAY HAPPINESS. But then they were all 'we recommend that you come and visit our campus which is a four and a half hour drive from where you live. We also want you to fill out an application to see if you're eligible and that costs a lot of money so HAHAHA. And you need to have it all done in a month.'

So I have been very freaky-outy this last month and there's been finals and a new semester. But I have amazing classes that are amazing (I think that's a given, right?) even though I have epic amounts of homework now.

And I have come to realized that in less than two years, I'll be doing this all over again. Times like, a gazillion. This most definitely gives me hope for my mental stability in the future.

But enough about angst, I need to do an interesting blog post.

I have recently forced my grandmother to read the Uglies trilogy by THE best author out there, Scott Westerfeld. She loves it and is currently on Extras. Next up for her? The Hunger Games. If I can find my copy. I do believe it was stolen by one of my friends and I can't remember to save my life who.

I will finish this post off with some of my favorite words that are known to me in the English language. That I can think of right now, at least.

• Synergy
• Advesperate
• Paradox
• Mystery
• Squish
• Fish
• Omniscient
• Octopus
• Shine
• Chrome
• Recycle
• Fabulous
• Terrific
• Vacuum
• Crotchety
• Word
• Widdershins
• Reality
• Magenta
• Bliss
• Cataclysm
• Neat
• Dandy
• Dictionary
• Barcoded
• Bewitch
• Ergo

And those are all the ones I can think of right now at this very moment. I'm sure there are more. I really love words that sound like their meaning. Y'know?

Nice to see you with the living!

I have no idea what the title is about, but I like that quote. It's from Avatar: the Last Airbender.

Speaking of Avatar, Legend of Korra comes out later this year. You can bet your face that I am so geeked out.

There are also some movies that I want to see that are coming out later this year.

• Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part Two. This one's a given. I mean, how can you NOT want to see this. It'll wrap up the best movie/book combo ever. And I'll cry and be sad after seeing it at middnight.

• Beastly. Coincidentally, both this and Harry Potter were, in fact, both books. This is a modern New York spin-off of Beauty and the Beast and the book is really awesome and the movie is going to have Neil Patrick Harris in it and it'll be amazing.

• Gnomeo and Juliet. Romeo and Juliet but gnomes. It's amazing.

Also I hate the world. Just wanted to let everyone know that and I believe that I'll be blogging about that in the very near future.

Also, for fun, I've joined a crusade thingy. Because I was promised to see epic blogs and get more followers.

Also I hate the world more. Charlotte's sitting next to me here in the library, doing her online Civics class. And everything just makes me want to die and/or cry and/or take over the world. You choose.

Panic attacks and me.

 I have noticed that blogging about things often makes me feel better about them. Be warned, this is one of my posts that is full of me freaking out.

I’ve always been the kind of person who is paranoid and freaks out and has just… way too many phobias. I’ve really accepted this and tried to function as a normal person.

In the last year, my freaky-outyness has reached a peak. I’m afraid to call people that I don’t know (and sometimes people I do know) and I can’t talk to people and all that jazz. Last night was the peakiest peak of that.

Last night was weird. I was getting ready for bed and all of a sudden I felt weird.  My chest pains (if you haven’t already heard, I have horrible chest pains all the time for no apparent reason, but I’m not having a heart attack I think) got worse and my arm felt funny and I got dizzy and cold and just a bunch of horrid stuff. And I thought I was going to die or something.

Fast forward to about two hours ago.  I was chatting with my wife and telling her how I kept on thinking I was going to die these past few days. And then I thought about what had happened. And I was like WOAH aren’t some of those symptoms of panic attacks. And my brain went YES. And my brain went GOOGLE!

So I went to google. And Wikipedia. I read all of the symptoms on wiki and it freaked me out because just about every symptom listed was how I felt. And it was terrifying and augh.

In short, I’m freaking out about that a little. Possibly having another panic attack about having a panic attack.

I think that is probably the extent of this blog post. I’m trying to keep it short, though I want to freak out a little. I don’t usually blog about stuff like this, I prefer blogging about stupid stuff.