Zombies just want HUGS.

Zombie kitteh can has brainz.

When I asked my friends what I should blog about (since I'm totally out of ideas and stuff) one of them said the following:

"Different kinds of cheese.

The role of rainbows in our society.

500 ways to not die.

Zombies just want hugs.

And bacon."

Well, I know about cheese. I mean, I did a three minute oral report on cheese in fourth grade. I think I've got that down. The role of rainbows in our society. I'm not so sure what she meant by that. Does she mean literal rainbows or gay rainbows or something else entirely? The world may never know. Five hundred ways not to die. Well, I'm pretty sure I do a lot of them everyday. I may not list every single on of them, but I'll try my best to advise y'alls on a few. And I know all about zombies and them just wanting hugs. And bacon. Bacon is my specialty. I mean, my friends and I have developed 'sparkly vampire mating calls'. They involve bacon. Whenever there's nothing to say, I always end up saying 'BACON!'.

Alright. Above was just the little preview of what I'm going to be randoming about.

Cheese. Well, last weekend, I was at Nellie's boat and on our way home, we went to a place called Cheese Haven. Apparently it has over 150 different types of cheese. How cool is that? They also had about a BILLION different types of candies. Like, gummies shaped like a MILLION different things. And then all these different flavored Twizzler knock-offs which were totally a billion times better than actual Twizzlers. They also displayed more than a hundred different types of hot sauce. The names made me giggle, though I can't remember them now.

Rainbows. I think they're pretty sexy. They're all.... rainbow-y. I mean, there's little green men at the end with monies. How could you not love that?

Five hundred ways not to die. Well.... My only answer is to LIVE.

Zombies. I'm afraid I'll never survive the zombie apocalypse. I'm probably too much of a wimp to kill zombies. I'm not really self-sufficient. And I'm so easily freaked out I'll probably kill myself before the zombies can get to me.

Bacon. I don't know what to say about it since I want to go to bed. And also because I don't see the point of writing about something that totally speaks for itself.

I PROMISE I'll write a longer post tomorrow. I would tonight, but all my brain is telling me is to go to bed. So night.

In other news, I am thoroughly freaked out.

Though that's not really saying much. I get freaked out about everything. The dark, spiders, storms, heights, the thought of people breaking into my house (WHAT IF THEY KILL ME?), war, oil spills, and more recently, the future.

I had told myself I wouldn't blog anymore today, just in case I run out of ideas some other day, but I think this post is of extreme urgency to my mental health. I find that I become less freaked out if I talk about it or something. So...

Everyone knows about how the Mayan calendar stops in December of 2012 when translated to present calendar-ness. Last year or the year before, I discovered this while chatting with a friend about how the world will end. I was all 'ZOMBIES' or something, and she was all 'ZOMG 2012'. I was all 'Wait. What?' and she linked me to this really scientific page about how the stars are all funky and the Mayan calendar and a bunch of stuff that I totally freaked out about. I went and shared my freak-out with my parents, and they pretty much laughed at me and told me it was all a myth and mumbo-jumbo. But I kept on searching it on google because when I'm freaked out, usually facts and more information on it set my mind at ease. Now, two(ish) years and a movie about it later, I'm planning on waking up on the twenty-first of December in 2012 and I'll be all BRING IT, WORLD. I think the stamp below explains my feelings. So I'm at peace with 2012 because people have hyped it up and now it just seems like a silly thing that some idiot at school made up to freak everyone out. You know what I'm talking about, right?

So, now that I've talked about 2012, I'm hoping that you know that that's not what I'm freaking out about. It's something kinda related in the end of the world kind of way.

I doubt many people really know about this, so I'm educating y'all.

So there was this lady who was born in the Ottoman Empire back in the day (1911). Her name was Vangelia Pandeva Dimitrova, but she was more commonly known as Baba Vanga. When she was twelve, apparently she was in a really bad storm and was picked up by either a tornado or really strong wind. She was found (alive) pretty far away, and she had sand in her eyes which blinded her.

After that, she began predicting things (WHICH IS TOTALLY WHAT IS FREAKING ME OUT) which includes the 'End of the World' and her eventual death. She predicted 9/11 and the sinking of a Russian sub ten and twenty years in advance.

In 1989, Baba Vanga said the following:
"Horror, horror! The American brethren will fall after being attacked by the steel birds. The wolves will be howling in a bush, and innocent blood will be gushing."
People have interpreted this by taking 'American brethren' to mean the Twin Towers, since they are American and technically brothers (twins). Steel birds are obviously planes, and Bush literally means George Bush. HOW FREAKING SCARY IS THAT?

In 1980 she said:
"At the turn of the century, in August of 1999 or 2000, Kursk will be covered with water, and the whole world will be weeping over it."
Kursk was the name of a Russian city as well a submarine named after the city. In August of 2000, the sub sunk. How freaky is that?

And she's predicted a bunch of other things that will happen in the future. That's totally what's giving me a panic attack now. Prepare for a long list.

• 2010-World War III begins in November and it turns into a nuclear war.
• 2011- The entire Northern Hemisphere is destroyed and lifeless for the most part because of radioactive showers.
• 2014- As a result of all the radioactiveness of the world, most of the population will have skin cancer and other various disease of that sort.
• 2016- Europe has close to no people living there.
• 2018-China becomes new world superpower.
• 2023- Earth's orbit will change.
• 2025- Europe continues to be underpopulated.
• 2028- New energy source is found, flight to Venus will depart, hunger is ended.
• 2033- Sea levels rise because of melting ice caps.
• 2043- Economy is getting better and better, Muslims run Europe.
• 2046- Organs can be reproduced and is the new cure for most diseases.
• 2066- U.S. uses climate changing weapon on Muslims, centered in Rome.
• 2076- Communism.
• 2084- Nature rebuilds itself from all the uckness.
• 2088- New disease that ages you really quickly.
• 2097- Aging disease cured.
• 2100-Artificial sun is created to light the dark side of Earth.
• 2111- People become robots(?) Does that mean... cyborgs? YES.
• 2123- Small wars between small countries. No one intervenes.
• 2125- Signals from aliens recived in Hungary. Baba Vanga is remembered because it is said she could communicate with the aliens.
• 2130- Aliens teach us how to live underwater; civilizations there are created.
• 2164- Animals become human hybrids. (Uhm, bestiality?)
• 2167- New major religion.
• 2170- Big drought.
• 2183- A colony on Mars gets independence through threatening with nuclear weapons.
• 2187- Big volcanic eruptions will be stopped.
• 2195- Underwater places will have their own energy and food.
• 2196- New race from mixing of the races.
• 2201- Gets colder because sun begins to shut down.
• 2221- While searching for more aliens, we'll come across something terrible. (Like what? Death-aliens?)
• 2256- Space ship transfers a disease to Earth.
• 2262- Planets begin to shift orbits and Mars might get hit by a comet.
• 2271- Laws of Physics are changed. (How is that even possible?)
• 2273- Only one race from all the mixing.
• 2279- 'Power obtained from nothing'. People think that means a black hole or some kind of vacuum.
• 2288- Time travel? Alien contact? (Didn't that already happen? Or another kind of aliens?)
• 2291- Sun continues to cool. People try to stop it.
• 2296- Big explosions in the sun, gravity gets screwed up.
• 2299- A France rebellion against the Muslims.
• 2302- Secrets and laws of space and the universe are revealed.
• 2304- Secrets of the moon revealed?
• 2341- Something bad will come at Earth from space. (I KNEW THAT DREAM THAT I HAD A WEEK AGO MEANT SOMETHING.)
• 2354- Screw up with artificial sun(s)? creates a drought.
• 2371- World hunger. (Golly, it's not like that's ever happened before.)
• 2378- New fast-growing race. (Like a human race or what?)
• 2480- Artificial suns will hit each other and the Earth is all dark and stuff.
• 3005- War on Mars changes orbit.
• 3010- Comet hits the moon, destroying it.
• 3797- Everything on Earth is dead, but we're advanced enough to move somewhere else.
• 3803- New planet has only a few people on it. Communications between people on different planets is rare. Mutations because of new planets.
• 3805- Battle of resources, half of people die out.
• 3815- War ends.
• 3854- Development stops. People become savages.
• 3871- A prophet tells people of morals and religion.
• 3874- Prophet is accepted by everyone, and a new religion is created.
• 3878- Church re-teaches forgotten sciences.
• 4302- New cities growing, new religion promotes advances in technology and other things of that nature. Scientists figure out something about diseases and behaviors.
• 4304- Discovers a way to battle any disease.
• 4308- Because of mutations, people can use their brains at a 34% capacity. People forget what hate and evil is.
• 4509- Man can communicate with 'god'.
• 4599- Immortality is achieved.
• 4674- Development peaks, 340 billion people on several different planets. Begin to understand and befriend aliens.
• 5076- A boundary universe? (Did they discover that our universe is one or it becomes one or what?)
  
• 5078- People decide to leave the boundaries, though a bunch of people are against it.

• 5079-The end of the world.

OH MY GODS, I AM PANIC ATTACKING.

Isn't that freaky? -rant rant rant- Good gods, I'm going to die. We're all going to die. Augh. HELP ME. Someone put my in a straight jacket and in a room with padded walls. I think that will help.

I'M A BLOGGIST!

Golly. This is my first post. I was inspired to start a new blog and continue my sagging dreams of becoming a bloggist? blogger? (I think I'll go with bloggist. It sounds way cooler.) with a bunch of people that read this. I doubt that'll happen, but hey, a girl can dream, right?

I'm sure this blog will be forgotten about in a few weeks or when school starts and I don't have time or anything cool to write about. But here's to keeping my dream alive.

I should probably start off (well, it's a little too late to start off, but whatever) this post with explaining how the forking heck I got the name of this blog. It's quite simple, actually, if you'll just read this next paragraphy thing. They're not really paragraphs, though, since they're not indented. But each pseudo-paragraph is indicated by a fabulous little space inbetween each clunk o' wordies. It might be more than one clunk.

So in my sciencey class, we had to make a map/chart/whatever you want to call it of the layers of the atmosphere. It had to include things that are in each layer. Did you know that airplanes fly in the Stratosphere? That's like... ten kilometers up. And so on our map/chart/whatever you want to call it thing, we decided that we needed something extremely bad-arse to represent a plane. At first we were thinking 'HMM. J.J. THE JETPLANE. HE'S PRETTY SEXOY.' but then we realized that young J.J. the Jetplane was not sexoy at all. We thought harder. Maybe it would be sexoy if he was a teenage jetplane! And rebellious too! So we drew a rebellious teenage jetplane. He had sunglasses and he was purple with green windows (which makes me realize now that we were idiots, since I think he was red).

And that's the story of J.J. the Rebellious Teenage Jetplane. I'm sure I'll be telling it to my grandchildren when I'm old and frail and still (hopefully) blogging on this bloggy and I'm totally famous.

Just to clarify, my name's not anything related to Willy Wonka or Jetplanes. It's Erin.

I think that since this is the first post, I should give a little intro about all my friendies since I call them pretty weird things.

I'll start with my 'family'.

Ex-wifey(or any variation on the word 'wife'), Wuffles, Libby, Mother of my children. If you hear any of those names, I'm talking about Libby. She used to be my wife, but I divorced her a few days ago (and I can't seem to remember why). We got married in Vegas (by the way, I'm so serious about Vegas. Ask any of our children and they're vouch for me) at the end of November of 2009. And our marriage ended so tragically four days ago (if you count me writing this at 2:30 in the freaking morning as the fourth day).

Turnip, Molly, Molly-wobbles, Jew(I promise I'm not racist!), Son. She'll most likely be called Turnip. Sometimes I forget what her real name is. It's a long story about her being named Turnip, so maybe I'll have that in the next post or in the near future. She's the brain-child of ex-wifey, but she's my son as well. SO I SHOULD GET AT LEAST HALF OF HER NOW THAT WE'RE DIVORCED.

Bethy-kun, Bethy, Bethany, Radish, The Other Asian. Bethy-kun is, as you can tell, AN ASIAN. And she's really cute when she's not pissed off. She makes funny noises and is another brain-child of ex-wifey. I WANT HALF OF HER.

The Asian(again, not racist. He doesn't mind being called that.), Nathanael, Daughter. He's the one with three names. It's not our fault, it's just that he was never around when we came up with fabulous names for people. Stupid Asian. Brain-child of my ex-wifey, and she said that I could keep him but he refused and I feel unloved by my children.

The last person is someone who is not part of my family. :D

Ellie!, Nellie, Nellie the Heartless, etc. Ellie is a fab person who is mental and hates trolls like Tara Gilbsie, (I have no idea about her last name) the chick who wrote My Immortal, the infamous Harry Potter fanfic starring Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way. She's fab and weird and is in love with Jack Spicer from Xiaolin Showdown, a cartoon.

I don't know what else to write about.

Maybe I should say that I'm NOT crazy, if I do seem like it. I am a paranoid person with a lot of random, irrational fears. My room is the sexiest place ever because it has xmas lights and lighting up Chinese-type lanterns and the coolest posters you will ever see (some of the ninja, face, zombie, Harry Potter, Star Wars, iPod, ravioli, Obama, Gir, and various music people variety.) I think what's on those posters says a lot about me and I don't really need to say any more for you to guess what kind of person I am.

It's 2:44:35 in the freaking morning as I'm writing this and I should be sleeping because I'm being forced against my will (almost a little redundant, don'tcha think? It's needed) to wake up at eight or something (which, by the way is in like, five hours) and swim at a freaking swim meet for a team I'm not even on. Golly. I quit that team so I could stay up late and type and sleep in.

Goodbye my lovely few people who will read this.