Blogging warnings, side-effects and guidelines.

Warnings for Bloggers.

• Not for rectal use.
• Do not operate heavy machinery while blogging is on the brain.
• Do not combine with alcohol or else you'll wake up the next morning to find that you have drunkenly posted that your wife's ex-wife's brother's mother's sister is pregnant with her brother's child. And we don't want that being said on the internet.
• Do not combine with nail polish fumes.
• Not intended for use with children under five.

SIDE-EFFECTS

Side effects may include any of the following:

• Obsessive blogging. 
• Talking about blogging more often than normal.
• Obsessively checking your watchers and seeing if there are any new ones.
• Obsessively checking your pageview count and seeing how many more people have seen your blog in the past day.
• Constantly trying to perfect your blog's layout.
• Linking all of your friends to your blog more than once when not asked, causing extreme frustration.
• Spending several of your waking hours blogging, plotting what to blog about, and finding/drawing pictures.
• Frequent questioning of friends and families for things to blog about.
• After something fun/exciting/momentous happens, planning in your head how you're going to blog it.
• Saving the links of a billion cool pictures so that maybe one day, you'll need it for your blog.

• Try and blog once a day for obsessive people and a few times a week for the faint-hearted.
• Try not to rant excessively. It makes people sad.
• Do it on a full stomach.
• Keep away from doing two of the almost same thing in a row. Example: Two book reviews in a row. Or two things you can do with ____.
• use prper langaug. dont typ lik dis. evry tim u do georg bush killz a bby panda
• Talking about yourself all the time makes people think you're self-centered. Be a good person and talk about other things.
• Less is more. Sometimes only a few pictures is better than a billion, and a sentence could easily take the place of a long-winded paragraph.
• Take it with root beer, nothing else works.
• Proof read and spell check if you have doubts.
• Be opinionated. Try and spark conversations.

I hope that everyone benefits from these, I'm sure they'll help you.

32 things you can do with nail polish.

Tonight, I have gotten an early start on blogging. So maybe I can stay up reading or WoWing like I used to before I forced myself to blog every day. Without further ado, I am proud to present the first in my series of things that you can do with -insert random household object here-.

Now, we all know that nail polish is a practical item that you can use in fixing up your house and beautifying the things around you. I have gathered a list of some useful as well as some not so useful things to do with it.

1. You can paint your phone (cell or home). I've done it with every phone I've had. My first cell phone was sparkle-fied and pretty. My newer one has polka dots on the back. My new phone's name is Dayzeigh. My home phone that I had in my room for a little bit had a pink dot in the center of it. I think that nail polish can make everything prettier. You'll see what else in the coming things.
2. Fix your car. I don't mean like, tires or anything, but if you get a scratch, my friend said that her dad thought it was a lot cheaper to buy a bottle of nail polish and use that. I think that that is easily one of the cooler ones.
3. Give yourself a tattoo. It's fun. I did that a lot last summer, with dots in funky patterns.
4. Paint your Nintendo DS™. Currently, my Nintendo DS™ has many multi-colored dots on in and a few smiley faces. It's also broken and beautiful. It is easily the best DS ever.
5. Use it as glue. I've done this many times for school projects when I have no glue and glue is required to do what I'm doing. I've also used to stick random things to my arms. That picture is nail polish in a glue bottle. I mean, really. Look at little kid nail polish.
6. Touch up messed up paint on earrings. I also had somewhere else I was going with it, but I forgot.
   
7. You can splash the nail polish in people's faces to blind them so that you can steal stuff from them. I'm not the one who came up with this. It was Nellie's idea. I think that would be the most painful thing in the freaking world.
8. You can color code keys. I think this one would actually be... useful. It totally is a great idea.
9. Make a mustache. On yourself for fun or on your sleeping friend for even funner. It doesn't even limit you to the color of pens you have. You can havea pink or yellow or blue mustache. Or a mustache with all of those colors.
   
10. Paint cool designs on your clothes. Like, on your old pair of jeans. It is prettyful when you do it with sharpies or nail polish, though I'm pretty sure that nail polish disapperates in the washing machine.
11. Use glow in the dark nail polish to paint things all glow in the darky. That would be totally fabulous. LIKE YOUR CAR. If you painted your car with glow in the dark nail polish that would be the best EVER.
12. Mark off the best temperature in the shower. I can't remember who told me that one, but it is GENIUS. I mean, it takes forever for me to find the perfect temperature, and by then, it wastes so much water. I think everyone who does not own nail polish at the moment should go out and buy some that purpose.
13. Get high off the fumes. Again, another bright idea by Nellie. I don't get how people could get high off of it. It's all stinky, but I can't imagine sniffing it for more than a second.
14. Seal an envelope. That is a fabulous idea because who wants the icky taste of envelope glue in their mouth?
15. Color code notes. I know that everyone loses highlighters and sharpies, but who loses a bottle of nail polish? And it makes class much more fun and stinky that way. :D
16. Paint rocks. You can paint your pet rock and then use it as a paperweight.
17. Fix the buttons on your remote that fade away from too much use. I would do that, but I'm sure my parental units would kill me.
18. Paint a friend's nails while a teacher is giving a boring lecture. You're actually more likely to pay attention while doodling or something like that. Nail polishing counts as doodling. I'm so serious about it. They did a study.
19. Fix a book that has pages torn out. I mean, tape is okay, but it gets in the way of the words and isn't pretty. On the other hand, nail polish is sticky and prettyful. When was the last time you saw pretty scotch tape?
20. Edit a story. You can cross things out and put dots by important things. I've done it before and it TOTALLY WORKS. :D
21. Actually paint your own nails normally. I know this one sounds like a stretch, but it can be done if you use restraint.
22. Make yourself rings and bracelets. Y'know, if you don't already have a billion. And nail polish rings don't hurt when you fist bump and they don't turn your finger green.... unless you use green nail polish.
23. Paint a picture. Paint a picture for your mommy using only nail polish. Do it. You know you want to.
24. Give your friend a monocle while they're sleeping so they look fancy. Or like the Mechanist. It really depends on if they have eyebrows or not. I'm sure you could fix that for them as well.
25. Ward off people who can't stand the smell. It often keeps my parents out of my room when I use nail polish for random things.
26. Put it in cookies, lemonade, a casserole, or a stick of gum. Watch them die. :D Cookie Monster wants you to think that that's a normal cookie.
    
27. Paint your cat's nails. And watch it claw your face.
28. Alternately, paint your dog's nails. And watch it eat it off and die.
29. Drop them from a tall building with a sidewalk below and watch them explode like a little colorful bomb. I really want to do that someday.
30. Paint your father's nails while he sleeps. Though that really won't work for me since my dad is the lightest sleeper ever.
31. Alternately, paint your brother's nails. He will either love it or hate it. And kill you either way. Remember to hide the nail polish remover.
32. Yet another option is paint your twin cousin's nails while they're sleeping with your other cousin while in a tent at a cottage on a lake. And sadly forget to remember that you left the nail polish remover at home. And they don't have any at the cottage.

Comment with other ideas. I'd love to hear them. :D

A memorial for Little Bear.

I'm taking time out of my day to blog about my weirdness or averageness as a child. I've been reminded of it several times over the course of today, so I have decided that the world wants me to blog about it.

Everyone's seen the signs right before you cross a bridge that say 'BRIDGE MAY BE ICY'. When I was first learning to read, I started reading all the signs to myself. I must have been six when I read one of those signs. My brain processed it as 'BRIDGE MAY BE ITCHY'. I started to get a little freaked out and I would hold my breath whenever we went on a bridge. In my mind, if the bridge got itchy, then the bridge would itch itself. I mean, that's common sense. But when I imagined the bridge itching, I would see two giant purple arms with pale green spikes coming out of them like a rose itching all the cars off of it. Thankfully, that never happened.

When I got my nails painted for the first time, I remember that my mom walked off saying 'I'll go get the nail polish.' and I replied by walking over to our cabinet where we kept art supply thingys, and I said 'I'll get the paintbrushes!' I don't know how I remember that, but it's locked into my brain.

In pre-school, I had two and a half best friends. Ava, Marci and the half was named.... Sam, I believe. He didn't completely count as a best friend for two reasons. One, he was a boy. Two, he didn't play Linkin Logs with me all the time. I used to bring my talking Little Bear stuffed animal in to pre-school with me (Now that I think about it, it was the freakiest thing ever). If you squeezed his hands, he'd say something like 'Hello! What are we going to do today?' and 'Let's go play!' 'Hooray!' 'I need a hug.' 'I'm your little bear.'. If you pressed his belly or sat on him or threw him, he'd laugh. The three (or sometimes four) of us would use blocks to build him a house. But one day, he wouldn't talk for a while. Turns out, his batteries just needed to be replaced, but I didn't know that. We built him a memorial with toys scattered around. And we buried him in blocks and we had a funeral and everyone came and cried with us. It was a very momentous occasion for me.

Now, slightly more recently, this part of my childhood takes place in late elementary school. My friends Caitlin, Kelsey and I (maybe there was another person or two who joined in. I can't remember.) played this game that we called '368 Worlds'.
I can't remember the exact plotline, I guess you could call it, but I do know that I pretended to be a girl named Samantha. Either her or her evil clone or twin or something. I was both, but I don't remember the other's name. And there was little portal or something that my people went through. I remember spending two recesses trying to get my evil person's entrance just perfect, and another one or two arguing about what should happen next.
There were 368 worlds in total and since either Kelsey or Caitlin's alter ego was a Princess or Queen or something, we could travel between all the worlds almost at will. I remember what one world was. It seemed to be loosely based off of Faerie World in neopets. At least, from what I can remember. It was the Princess/Queen's home planet and there was some kind of conflict with a King or a Prince or something. It was quite amazing. We kept it going for more than two school years. I really wish I could remember all of it.

I'd love to continue on and tell you all about my 'fabulous' fifth grade year, but I need my beauty rest, so I'll probably do that tomorrow. TOOODLES!

That first picture isn't mine. I found it on deviantart.

Post of random stuff because my brain can't concentrate on one thing at a time.

I'm pretty sure I haven't touched on how much I hate high school sports on this blog. Let me start out by saying the following:

I hate high school sport teams.

I was reminded of this tonight when I played soccer with two really good friends... and then some people who were on my soccer team for school. We exchanged a 'Hi.' and 'I like your new haircut.' and 'Nice pass.' but that was it. And these were what I considered the nicer of my old team. Just a warning, prepare for angst.

I've decided that I'm never playing sports for a school ever again. Mostly because your play time and acceptance is based on your popularity. I mean, when in high school isn't it? Except for my school. I'd like to think that my school is past all the popularity crap and everything. I think we are. But since I go to a school where there are no sports, my friend guilt-tripped me into trying out for soccer at her school. I mean, just to try out I had to pay thirty dollars. And when I realized that I hated it, I couldn't really back out because I had to pay another hundred and fifty.

That season, we had something like twenty games. That's a lot for a month and a half time period. Especially if you want to be able to practice and do homework and have a freaking life. (Hey, look. It's a picture of Bill Kaulitz. Because he's amazingly gorgeous. Did you know that he is the definition of androgynous and ambiguous? And he is the love of men.)

Maybe I'll just stop talking about how much I hate stuff and start talking about how BEAUTIFUL Bill Kaulitz is. In the past fifteen minutes I have been chatting with my ex-wifey about how beautiful he is and how we want to cry because he's prettier than most chicks. Gah. Why does he get to be soooooooooooo pretty? It's sooo unfair.

Why do I keep stopping typing to look at pictures of him? It's so depressing.

Now I've totally lost my train of thought and I'm not in the mood to rant about sports. What to type about?

Have you ever randomly nail polished your skin in cool patterns? Or random objects sitting near you? I always end up doing that during the summer. It's all 'OOH! Nail polish! Darn. My nails are already painted. Maybe I'll paint my leg or this conviently placed sticky note or maybe my cell phone.' That's totally my thought process.

Have I ever mentioned that at the beginning of summer when I cleaned my room I organized my book wall? I alphabetized it by title. It's so organized it's not even funny. And it hasn't fallen over yet. Which is amazing.

Augh, it's getting late and I have to get up early and I can't think of anything else to write about at the moment and I'm sleepy and hungry and augh.