Thursday, August 19, 2010

Blogging warnings, side-effects and guidelines.

Warnings for Bloggers.

  • Not for rectal use.
  • Do not operate heavy machinery while blogging is on the brain.
  • Do not combine with alcohol or else you'll wake up the next morning to find that you have drunkenly posted that your wife's ex-wife's brother's mother's sister is pregnant with her brother's child. And we don't want that being said on the internet.
  • Do not combine with nail polish fumes.
  • Not intended for use with children under five.

Side effects may include any of the following:
  • Obsessive blogging. 
  • Talking about blogging more often than normal.
  • Obsessively checking your watchers and seeing if there are any new ones.
  • Obsessively checking your pageview count and seeing how many more people have seen your blog in the past day.
  • Constantly trying to perfect your blog's layout.
  • Linking all of your friends to your blog more than once when not asked, causing extreme frustration.
  • Spending several of your waking hours blogging, plotting what to blog about, and finding/drawing pictures.
  • Frequent questioning of friends and families for things to blog about.
  • After something fun/exciting/momentous happens, planning in your head how you're going to blog it.
  • Saving the links of a billion cool pictures so that maybe one day, you'll need it for your blog.

  • Try and blog once a day for obsessive people and a few times a week for the faint-hearted.
  • Try not to rant excessively. It makes people sad.
  • Do it on a full stomach.
  • Keep away from doing two of the almost same thing in a row. Example: Two book reviews in a row. Or two things you can do with ____.
  • use prper langaug. dont typ lik dis. evry tim u do georg bush killz a bby panda
  • Talking about yourself all the time makes people think you're self-centered. Be a good person and talk about other things.
  • Less is more. Sometimes only a few pictures is better than a billion, and a sentence could easily take the place of a long-winded paragraph.
  • Take it with root beer, nothing else works.
  • Proof read and spell check if you have doubts.
  • Be opinionated. Try and spark conversations.

I hope that everyone benefits from these, I'm sure they'll help you.

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