Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Due to the strange questions asked by wifey, this post will involve rainbow cake.

So, wifey wants to know good ways to come out. I suspect it's because she's secretly gay. She came up with a fabulous way to come out.

Step one: Make a rainbow cake.
Step two: Write 'I'M GAY!' on the top of it.
Step three: Gather your immediate family and friends, but don't tell them why.
Step four: Present your cake.
Step five: Glare angrily at everyone while they laugh and say 'I always knew something was special about her!'

I hope all y'alls understand that that is exactly what will happen when wifey comes out.

I think these are very important for my readers to know when/if they ever need to know these things.

Other fabulous ways to come out that I have made up or found on the internet.....

  • Go to the contacts on your phone, close your eyes and scroll through randomly. Press the call button whenever you feel like it and when the person answers, yell 'I'M GAY!' and then hang up. Rinse and repeat.
  • Go up to random people on the street and introduce yourself by saying 'Hello! I'm (insert your name here). I'm gay.'
  • If you're a guy, be all stereotypical and start lisping and picking out people's outfits for them. :D
  • Get a tattoo. But only if you're really really sure that you're gay.
  • Paint your car rainbow!
  • Write an insanely long, heartfelt letter and then sign it. Afterwards, write 'P.S., I'm gay.' and then send it.
  • Buy an ad in the paper and have it be a picture of you holding a sign that says 'I'm gay!'.
  • Invite your friends over to your house and tell them to go straight to your room. Be hiding in your closet, and when they arrive, jump out and tell them that you've just come out of the closet.
  • Be the guy pictured above.
  •  Tell the girl who is in love with you with notes between window.
  • Go somewhere outside and have a plane write a message in the sky. Ex: 'I'M GAY!'
  • Make a t-shirt that says 'I'm gay!' on it and wear it to school/work/out and about.
That's all I can think of. I feel that now you readers are extremely educated on the art of coming out.

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