HEY, GUESS WHAT? I'M GAY. (But I'm not gay.)

Hello random stalkers of the internet! Hello people who are here because I posted it on my facebook! Hello  everyone! This post is all about GAY. Also, if you would like to know what the song is that inspired my title for the post, please see the song IF YOU WERE GAY by AVENUE Q.

This post is my official coming out to the internet and people I know. This should hopefully clear up any questions about my sexuality.

If you actually know me in the real world and aren't just a blog-stalker, you would know that I love gay people, I have a lot of gay friends, I am part of my school's QSA, gay rights are something that needs to be HAPPENING, I love Ellen DeGeneres, I love Neil Patrick Harris, I've done the Day of Silence twice. So it should really come as no surprise to anyone that I'm gay.

Now let me clarify. I'm gay, but I'm not gay. Get it? No? Okay. Let me explain. I'm not gay as in a guy who likes guys. I'm not gay as in that I like the opposite sex/gender (AUGH THOSE TWO WORDS ARE THE BANE OF MY EXISTENCE). I'm gay as in I am not straight. I like girls and guys. Bisexual and pansexual just confuse me, so for all purposes, I am gay.

I know a lot of you are probably saying, 'Duh, Erin. We already knew that.' and I'm saying, 'Just clearing it up so that you won't be confused.'

So I know my parents read this blog (HI MOMMY HI DADDY). I wouldn't be surprised if my aunts and uncles and various other family members that I am friends with on facebook have stumbled across this (HI VARIOUS RELATIVES). I know many-a-friend reads this (HI EVERYONE). I know that random people that I have never met and probably will never meet read this blog (HI!!) And I am sick of pretending I'm straight or ignoring the topic around certain people and then being out and proud in front of others. Especially because recently family members have been extremely heteronormative and they've been asking if I have a boyfriend yet.

My mommy and daddy will still love me, right? They've said so before (my mommy has said this when we were watching Ellen and she was interviewing that chick Constance who wasn't allowed to go to her prom).

I know most of my friends already know. Everyone else is so out of the loop. But if you don't like me anymore because I'm gay, screw you. You can stop following this blog or stop being my friend on facebook. But I know most people are totally for the gays, since this town is so liberal.

Since I'm probably too wussy to tell a lot of people, this is my way of coming out to you. Mostly because I am not talented enough to play the ukelele like my friends want me to.

Also I can't find a good picture of someone coming out of the closet because I guess safesearch isn't working and I keep on finding pictures of penises and no.

ALSO NEW YORK YOU ARE AWESOME.

Also when I click 'publish post', I'm telling everyone I'm gay. READY, SET.... CLICK!

What have I done tonight? Nothing, really.

So two of my big finals are tomorrow. What did I do to study/do my project?

I...

• Watched The Big Bang Theory, hoping it would make me smarter for science.
• Looked at pictures of Harry Potter characters so I could put them in my powerpoint.
• Glanced at a punnett square or two.
• Lolcat'd.
• Drank grape juice.
• Thought about blogging.
• Actually blogged.
• Chatted with people I used to know on facebook.
• Ran through my little 'i, isti, it, imus, istis, erunt' song in my head so I would remember perfect tense conjugations.
• Made the sexiest powerpoint in the history of ever.
• Rocked out to Ke$ha. (Pronounced KUH-DOLLAR SIGN-HAA!)
• Remembered the parts that I forgot/screwed up on in my scene for my acting final.
• Angsted about the dress I had to wear for you acting final.
• Ate coffee ice cream.

I think that it was very productive.
I really should be off to finish my review sheet for Latin, but y'know, I can do that during the half hour I have from when my bus comes and I need to take the test. And plus, Latin is my one of my best subjects.
What would YOU do?

If you were me, you would sit and find more things to blog about. Such as bucket lists, favorites and kittens. But then fail.

How to tell if YOUR facebook friend is a person that should be associated with (by MY standards). Warning: Extremely accurate.

Screw that. Screw good guys. Everyone loves the bad guys. Especially like, children of bad guys. For example, DRACO MALFOY. He's beautiful. Especially in that picture. Recently blogger has been hating me and it's not been letting me put pictures where I want (for example, I want some words above that picture, but it won't let me).

Somehow, the clock has magically turned to quarter after twelve. And I need to get up earlyish to babysit and I got next to no sleep last night so I'm screwed and why am I so intent on blogging every day?

Facebook. That can be the only reason I haven't blogged. I've been busy looking at people's profiles, looking at their number of friends, frequency of relationship status changes, whether or not their middle name is correct, number of swear words in statuses, lack of grammar and spelling in statuses, and sluttiness of pictures. From all those factors, I can decide if they're the kind of person I would associate myself with on a regular basis or if they're the kind of person who I wouldn't touch with a fifty-foot stabby. Maybe I would. To stab them, y'know.

How to tell if YOUR facebook friend is not to be associated with. Note: works best with girls.

1. Number of friends. Not always completely accurate, sometimes they just know a lot of people (maybe they moved or something). 1-200, one point. 201-400, three points. 401 plus, five points.
2. Frequency of relationship status changes. Usually very accurate. Over a three week period of time... 0-1 changes, one point. 2-3, three points. 4 plus, five points.
3. Middle names. Usually quite accurate. If it is their actual name, one point. If it is a commonly used nickname or something not too daunting, three points. If it is something along the lines of 'Bob PrEtTyHaIrLoVe Smith', five or seventy points. Your choice.
4. Frequency of swear words in statuses. Semi-accurate. Look at ten statuses. 0-3, one point. 4-8, three points. 9 plus, five.
5. Grammar and spelling in statuses. Very accurate. Two statuses, punctuation and capitalization count. 0-2 mistakes, one point. 3-6 mistakes, three points. 7 plus mistakes, five points.
6. Sluttiness level of pictures (profile picture especially). Very accurate. Low sluttiness level, one point. Medium sluttiness level, three points. High and above sluttiness level, five plus points.

Scoring—
6-18— CONGRATULATIONS! You have found the type of person that Erin would assosiate herself with!
18-25— You have found the type of person that Erin tolerates most of the time.
25 and BEYOND—Erin would not stab this person with a fifty-foot stabby.

Also, people should vote on the top left thing on the poll.