Thursday, September 2, 2010

How to tell if YOUR facebook friend is a person that should be associated with (by MY standards). Warning: Extremely accurate.

Screw that. Screw good guys. Everyone loves the bad guys. Especially like, children of bad guys. For example, DRACO MALFOY. He's beautiful. Especially in that picture. Recently blogger has been hating me and it's not been letting me put pictures where I want (for example, I want some words above that picture, but it won't let me).

Somehow, the clock has magically turned to quarter after twelve. And I need to get up earlyish to babysit and I got next to no sleep last night so I'm screwed and why am I so intent on blogging every day?

Facebook. That can be the only reason I haven't blogged. I've been busy looking at people's profiles, looking at their number of friends, frequency of relationship status changes, whether or not their middle name is correct, number of swear words in statuses, lack of grammar and spelling in statuses, and sluttiness of pictures. From all those factors, I can decide if they're the kind of person I would associate myself with on a regular basis or if they're the kind of person who I wouldn't touch with a fifty-foot stabby. Maybe I would. To stab them, y'know.

How to tell if YOUR facebook friend is not to be associated with. Note: works best with girls.

  1. Number of friends. Not always completely accurate, sometimes they just know a lot of people (maybe they moved or something). 1-200, one point. 201-400, three points. 401 plus, five points.
  2. Frequency of relationship status changes. Usually very accurate. Over a three week period of time... 0-1 changes, one point. 2-3, three points. 4 plus, five points.
  3. Middle names. Usually quite accurate. If it is their actual name, one point. If it is a commonly used nickname or something not too daunting, three points. If it is something along the lines of 'Bob PrEtTyHaIrLoVe Smith', five or seventy points. Your choice.
  4. Frequency of swear words in statuses. Semi-accurate. Look at ten statuses. 0-3, one point. 4-8, three points. 9 plus, five.
  5. Grammar and spelling in statuses. Very accurate. Two statuses, punctuation and capitalization count. 0-2 mistakes, one point. 3-6 mistakes, three points. 7 plus mistakes, five points.
  6. Sluttiness level of pictures (profile picture especially). Very accurate. Low sluttiness level, one point. Medium sluttiness level, three points. High and above sluttiness level, five plus points.
6-18— CONGRATULATIONS! You have found the type of person that Erin would assosiate herself with!
18-25— You have found the type of person that Erin tolerates most of the time.
25 and BEYOND—Erin would not stab this person with a fifty-foot stabby.

Also, people should vote on the top left thing on the poll.

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