Sunday, October 10, 2010

NaNoWriMo is the sexiest and unsexiest thing in the entire freaking world, man.

I am very well aware that it has been years (two weeks?) since I last blagged. I am very well aware that this is what I now say when I start a new post because I often don't have anything else better to say. And just to let all of you know, I have a list of things to blog about, but what I've chosen for this one takes priority. I might also do a review at the end of it if it's not as long as I planned, because I totally just read an epic book that came out on Tuesday. And if you don't know what it is... A PLAGUE UPON YOUR FAMILY. (Spoiler alert: I DON'T DO THE REVIEW. Not until the next post, children.)

I'm sure most of the people reading this have heard people hiss 'NaNoWriMo' or 'NaNo' during October and November. It's not a secret. It's not something horrible like You-Know-Who, okay it kinda is, but no-one flinches or starts crying when you say it.

NaNoWriMo is short for National Novel Writing Month, which takes place during the month of November. The goal is to write at least fifty thousand words in thirty days. One thousand, six hundred sixty seven words a day. I will promise you two things if you do it.
  1. It will ruin your life.
  2. It will make your life amazing.
How will it do that? you ask? Both at the same time? That's not possible. IT IS! WITH THE POWER OF NANO, IT CAN BE YOURS FOR JUST THREE EASY PAYMENTS OF $19.95.
Not really. Anyway, I totally forgot what I was originally going to say. Oh yes! I was going to elaborate on how it does both at the same time.
  • How it ruins your life~
It does this by slowly embedding itself into your head and even after the month is over you'll be checking your word count every five seconds. Once you end up breaking the habit, you'll realize that it's July and November is just a few months away and the habit will pick up again in the first few hours.
Your family will begin to get sick of you locking yourself in your room for hours at a time, even if you already do this. If you ask them questions like 'What if I wrote a novel about gay vampires who beat each other up?' they'll begin to respond with generic answers like 'You need more of a plot than that.' and you'll start to ask dumb questions like that on a daily basis.
You'll begin to feel a stronger connection to your main character(s) than your closest friends and you'll begin to refer to them as actual people. And you won't talk to your friends at all because you'll be far too busy trying to write.
You'll write under the desks during class and instead of eating during lunch when you're behind (or ahead, for that matter) on your word count.
  • How it makes your life amazing~
It makes your life amazing by giving you a goal and by the end of the month, no matter how many french verbs you've conjugated in the middle of dialogue to boost your word count and no matter how many times The Traveling Shovel of Death comes in and kills someone you'll still (hopefully) have at least a start to a novel, if not more.
It makes your life amazing by making you check your word count every five seconds because really, what's life without a little obsessiveness?
It makes your life amazing by pissing off your family, since that was probably one of your main goals in the first place.
It makes your life amazing by disconnecting you from your friends because when it's all over you can reconnect and share novels and you'll have so many more things to talk about.
It makes your life amazing by adding a bit of danger. I mean, what if the teacher catches you novelling instead of note-taking? BLASPHEMY!

So as you may have guess, NaNo is a very stressful time in a young person's life. So if you're a teacher and your student doesn't turn in their homework on time, don't take off points because they might have stayed up until two the night before trying to finish a scene and get their wordcount up.
If you're someone's boss and they seem to be slacking off just a bit more than usual, and you've noticed a Word document up on their screen a bit more than usual, but them some slack.
If you're a parent (HEY PARENTS, IF YOU'RE READING THIS, THIS IS FOR YOU) and your child stays up a bit later than you'd like because they're writing, don't chop off their heads. If they complain a bit more about going places without computers or doing chores, it's because they are invested in writing and WRITING MAKES KIDS SMARTER. (Maybe. I totally made that up, but I bet it's true. It makes them more creative and stuff, though.) DO YOU WANT TO DEPRIVE YOUR CHILD OF THAT?

As for me doing NaNo, last Wednesday (day) I had two ideas that I was trying to decide between. Wednesday (night) I had an idea, so that's a third one to decide between. Flying cities, Europe and bumblebees. Yesterday I asked some friends and I narrowed it down to flying cities and bumblebees. And I put my status on facebook as 'Flying cities or bumblebees?' and everyone except one said flying cities. So that's the idea I'm doing. It's the story I was probably going to do anyway because I have most of it planned out.

I have a question for you people. Would it be totally lame if at the end one of my mainish characters pulled a Harry and was all dead and everyone thought they were dead but then it ended up not but then the bad guy is all but defeated when they come back? And it's possibly going to be my main character's love interest.

Good golly, that was far more than I ever expected to write on the topic of NaNo. Prepare for more or an absence of more in the coming weeks.

1 comment:

Libby said...

Honey, 'what if I wrote a novel about gay vampires who beat each other up?' is not a dumb question.