Anyone who hasn't read AT LEAST The Hunger Games, go away unless you want it spoiled.

In honor of Mockingjay coming out (technically) in less that twenty-four hours, I am doing a book review of Catching Fire so that on Tuesday my post can be a review of Mockingjay and I won't have two book reviews in a row because that's against my rules of blogging.

Before I start, I want to say that I have become insanely obsessed with blogging recently. All I seem to talk to my friends about on chat is that I can't think of anything to blog about or that I just figured out what to blog about. I feel like Kady/Cady from Mean Girls who gets obsessed with Regina. But it's totally not the same because I am a nice girl. (-snicker snicker-)

This is your second to last warning. Unless you want The Hunger Games and the beginning of Catching Fire ruined for you I recommend closing this page RIGHT NOW. Which is not something I would usually recommend, since I want people to read this. And if you haven't read the books, I suggest you go out and get them in the next twenty-four hours and read them as fast as you can and then on Tuesday go and get Mockingjay. And then you'll be free to read these book reviews. Also, if you haven't read the books and you want a review, go read THIS post. It's a review of the first book.

This is your VERY final warning.

Alright. Welcome to my fabulous book review of Catching Fire. If you haven't read The Hunger Games and you're still reading, I'm very disappointed in you, though I completely understand since I got lazy when I was ten and the Half-Blood Prince came out and I stopped halfway and I looked up spoilers anyway to find out that Dumbledore died. If me saying that Dumbledore died is a shock to you (and/or you don't know who he is), you need to get out of that hole you've been living in since the late nineties and read them Harry Potter books. Not the movies, the books.

Back on track, this is my fabulous book review. I'm going to give you a spoiler. KATNISS DIES. Hahahaha. JAY KAY! She doesn't die. I mean, it's from her point of view, so unless that changes in Mockingjay, I wouldn't expect her to die until the very end if at all. I think I should stop messing around and find my funny little review thingy that I did for the last one so I don't keep getting off track.
 
Background— Alrighty, so I think I might have to sum up the previous book for y'all, since I'm assuming that there are people who still haven't read it reading this. I'll try and do it with less than ten bullet points that are shortish.

• In the future, there's a country called Panem with 12 (used to be 13) districts (they're like states or provinces). They rebelled 75 years ago and the Capitol stopped 12 and destroyed the thirteenth. The Capitol created a thing called The Hunger Games.
• The Hunger Games are a yearly thing where each district has to send two (boy and girl) tributes to an arena to fight to the death.
• At the 74th games, a girl named Katniss (our main protagonist from district 12) and Peeta (a mini-protangonist from the same district) win, though very strangely. Before the games begin, Peeta announces his love for Katniss in front of the whole country. 
• Peeta is terribly injured through pretty much the whole thing, and when it is announced that two people can win, Katniss nurses him to health and plays the lovers thing to their advantage. When they're the last two left, it's announced that only one can win. They both start to eat poisonous berries, but before they can, they are announced the winners. 
• Now the president is pissed because it seemed like an act of rebellion against the Capitol to the other districts and uprisings began to start again. 
• Katniss was sure that the whole Peeta loving her thing was a thing to keep them alive in the games, but it seems like he seriously is in love with her.
• Oh, there's another factor, Katniss's best friend, Gale, who she hunts with to keep their families fed (which is technically illegal, but it's overlooked since the peacekeepers like the meat). And many people think they're a couple which proves to possibly be an issue in Catching Fire/Mockingjay.
• I think I'm done.

Characters— Okay, so I already said the names, but I think we need a bit more in depth.

• Katniss Everdeen. She's the main thingy. She was in the 74th Hunger Games and won. She won and kept both of them alive by pretending to be in love with the other tribute from her district, Peeta. She's not a very nice person and very skilled with a bow and arrow. Her father died in a mining accident when she was eleven(I'm being really weird on spelling out numbers today) and has had to bring home most, if not all of the food since then. She has a younger sister, Prim who she loves dearly. Her sister's the reason she got into the games. Her sister's name was called at the Reaping and she volunteered in her place.
• Peeta Mellark. He's the baker's son and a very good artist. He's in love with Katniss even though she's convinced it was just for the audience. He's really strong, but not very good with any weapons. It's a miracle he survived the Hunger Games in the previous book.
• Gale. Katniss's best friend. They hunt together and most poeple assumed that they are a couple until the games. At the beginning of this book, it is said that a short time after she returns from the games, he kisses her.
• Cinna. Katniss's stylist who she's insanely close to. He's from the Capitol, but strangely laid back and not like the other Capitol people.
• Haymitch Abernathy(I think I spelled that right.). The only other living winners of the games beside Katniss and Peeta. He was their mentor during the games that they won. He's a drunk, though they really can't blame him now that they're out of the arena since it haunts them so much.
• Finnick. A previous winner of the games. Really good with a trident. He's from district four which is fishing.
• Johanna. Another previous winner who is fabulous and arrogant. I forget what district she's from.
• Mags. An elderly winner of the games who is generally unintelligable.
• Nuts and Volts. I forget their actual names, but they're from the technology district.
• I think that's it. If I forgot any, feel free to remind me. Oh, I and I left out Effie on purpose because I can't think of what to say about her and it's already two in the morning and I want to get to bed at a decent time.

Plot— Well, this is after the games where Peeta and Katniss wins. It starts out right before the victory tour where they go around to all of the districts and have feasts and deliciousness. But before that, Katniss is visited by the President himself (who rarely leaves the Capitol) and he tells her that because of the berries incident, she has to convince EVERYONE that she's madly in love with Peeta even though she totally isn't. She has to strive and convince the President.
And once they get to the Capitol for the giantest feast of all, the president says that she hasn't convinced anyone.
Soon after, it is announced that the President is throwing Katniss and Peeta a wedding. And not long after that, the quarter quell is announced. The quarter quell is a special version of the games that happens every twenty five years. That year is the 75th. They open up an envelope that looks like it had been sealed since the games began (though it probably was just filled the previous day). They announce that for that year's quarter quell, instead of reaping from 12-18 year olds, they will reap from the previous winners. And since there are only three from district twelve, and Katniss is the only girl, that means that she's going back into the arena for sure.
DUN DUN DUN...

My thoughts on it— Possibly better than the first. The ending of the whole thing was very confusing and I had to read it several times over to get it mostly (for people who've read it, the whole Johanna thing and the tree). It leaves you hanging a trillion times more than the first. (Guh, 22 hours until it comes out.) I had an advance reader's copy four months before the actual thing came out of Catching Fire, so if you've read it and you think that you've been waiting forever, THAT'S A LIE. I HAVE. I almost wish I hadn't read it early. Whatever. I still love Caitlin for giving it to me for my birthday last year.


Movie? Sequel?—Apparently there's a movie set to come out at the end of 2011 of The Hunger Games. Sequel? Well, I've been squeeing about it throughout this entire post. I think you know that there is a third. If you didn't catch on, it's called Mockingjay and from the moment that I'm writing this, 21 hours, 42 minutes, 27 seconds. 25. Just an FYI, I didn't do the math. I'm far to lazy for that. There's a nifty little countdown widget.

Recommendation—EVERYONE GO READ IT NOW.

I do not recommend throwing gummy bears out a window accidentally.

I spent two hours trying to decide what I should blog about. I had my mind made up two minutes ago to do a book review, but then I remembered a really vivid dream that I had last night, so I think I shall blog about that. And I just remembered an equally vivid dream that I had while napping today.


    I was really geeked out about school starting and I was getting ready the first morning. "Remember, Erin, your school has been moved to (insert name of elementary school here). It burned down in a fire last week." my mom told me.
    I was all ready and everything and I walked to school to make it just before the bell(??) rang. But a few of my friends were standing outside of the door and so I went over to them and talked for probably a half hour. And apparently, none of them were in my first class (even though all of the classes were merged together in one room) but I went in a half hour late anyway.
    When I walked in, there was a teacher who looked like an older version of Courtney (my FOS 1 teacher) who introduced herself as Bubbles. She handed me a hat and told me to pick a paper and that would tell me where to sit.
     Somehow, I ended up in the very back of the classroom (which was actually reallllllllllllllllllllllly far back because it was the size of like, five classrooms all in one line). I had to sit at a table with people who I was really good friends with in elementary school, but when middle school came around, it was like they hated me. I'm not naming any names. My little brother was in the front. The room seemed to be organized by age, though seats were picked randomly.
    So I was sitting there and Bubbles was shouting back at my grade what our assignment was. We were supposed to work with our table groups, but the people at my table had started without me, so I decided to work alone. And while I was sitting there, working like the good student I am, I heard them whispering things like "Why is she even sitting with us? That loser." and "Augh, why does she even bother going to school?".
    So I stood up and somehow I was like, twice as tall as I actually am. I started screaming at them and the whole room went silent. They randomly disappeared, so I sat down inthe middle of the table where they had been and kept on working.
    Bubbles was giving us another assignment when I woke up.

My other dream...

    I was working in a movie theater. I was working at the ticket counter and I was wearing the uniform and everything, but I didn't have a nametag. I was really jealous of my friends who also worked there that had nametags. They were really amazing nametags because if you looked really hard at the first letter of your name which was bigger than the rest, you could see a picture of you.
    So I decided that I needed a nametag, and after what I could only guess as another Twilight movie coming out, I confronted my boss. She was really short, old, fat and wore a leopord print shirt with a little-kid type flowered skirt. For some reason, that really bothered me.
    She took me to this security guard guy and he looked at her all annoyed-like and then she said 'Flatulence is not good for women.' and he grinned at her and they took me to this room to get my nametag.
    Instead of getting my nametag, I was thrown into a really deep ball pit and I sunk to the bottom. I plopped out into a car and my boss lady was driving me. She was eating gummy bears and accidentally threw one out the window, so she slowed down, opened her door and grabbed it from the ground as we went past. She started to eat it, and then fell out. And then I woke up.

The second dream was a little weird, even for me, but I think it's pretty gangster.

Sims is probably greater than or equal to neopets in addicting levels.

So right now Ellie's over. We have her laptop and we're making sims of some of our characters and we're going to make some people hook up and be fabulous. We've been making a total of four characters for more than an hour. It's all going to be worth it and of course, we'll be playing it all night.

We're also listening to Disney music because it's fabulous.

I'm trying to get this done while she finishes up the last sim.  And my brain isn't being nice since I can't think of anything else to write about.

I think I'm going to be lazy and stop now before I start spewing random crap. I promise a better post tomorrow.

P.S.—MOCKINGJAY COMES OUT IN FOUR DAYS. ALMOST THREE.

Blogging warnings, side-effects and guidelines.

Warnings for Bloggers.

• Not for rectal use.
• Do not operate heavy machinery while blogging is on the brain.
• Do not combine with alcohol or else you'll wake up the next morning to find that you have drunkenly posted that your wife's ex-wife's brother's mother's sister is pregnant with her brother's child. And we don't want that being said on the internet.
• Do not combine with nail polish fumes.
• Not intended for use with children under five.

SIDE-EFFECTS

Side effects may include any of the following:

• Obsessive blogging. 
• Talking about blogging more often than normal.
• Obsessively checking your watchers and seeing if there are any new ones.
• Obsessively checking your pageview count and seeing how many more people have seen your blog in the past day.
• Constantly trying to perfect your blog's layout.
• Linking all of your friends to your blog more than once when not asked, causing extreme frustration.
• Spending several of your waking hours blogging, plotting what to blog about, and finding/drawing pictures.
• Frequent questioning of friends and families for things to blog about.
• After something fun/exciting/momentous happens, planning in your head how you're going to blog it.
• Saving the links of a billion cool pictures so that maybe one day, you'll need it for your blog.

• Try and blog once a day for obsessive people and a few times a week for the faint-hearted.
• Try not to rant excessively. It makes people sad.
• Do it on a full stomach.
• Keep away from doing two of the almost same thing in a row. Example: Two book reviews in a row. Or two things you can do with ____.
• use prper langaug. dont typ lik dis. evry tim u do georg bush killz a bby panda
• Talking about yourself all the time makes people think you're self-centered. Be a good person and talk about other things.
• Less is more. Sometimes only a few pictures is better than a billion, and a sentence could easily take the place of a long-winded paragraph.
• Take it with root beer, nothing else works.
• Proof read and spell check if you have doubts.
• Be opinionated. Try and spark conversations.

I hope that everyone benefits from these, I'm sure they'll help you.

Due to the strange questions asked by wifey, this post will involve rainbow cake.

So, wifey wants to know good ways to come out. I suspect it's because she's secretly gay. She came up with a fabulous way to come out.

Step one: Make a rainbow cake.
Step two: Write 'I'M GAY!' on the top of it.
Step three: Gather your immediate family and friends, but don't tell them why.
Step four: Present your cake.
Step five: Glare angrily at everyone while they laugh and say 'I always knew something was special about her!'

I hope all y'alls understand that that is exactly what will happen when wifey comes out.

I think these are very important for my readers to know when/if they ever need to know these things.

Other fabulous ways to come out that I have made up or found on the internet.....

• Go to the contacts on your phone, close your eyes and scroll through randomly. Press the call button whenever you feel like it and when the person answers, yell 'I'M GAY!' and then hang up. Rinse and repeat.
• Go up to random people on the street and introduce yourself by saying 'Hello! I'm (insert your name here). I'm gay.'
• If you're a guy, be all stereotypical and start lisping and picking out people's outfits for them. :D
• Get a tattoo. But only if you're really really sure that you're gay.
• Paint your car rainbow!
• Write an insanely long, heartfelt letter and then sign it. Afterwards, write 'P.S., I'm gay.' and then send it.
• Buy an ad in the paper and have it be a picture of you holding a sign that says 'I'm gay!'.
• Invite your friends over to your house and tell them to go straight to your room. Be hiding in your closet, and when they arrive, jump out and tell them that you've just come out of the closet.

• Be the guy pictured above.

•  Tell the girl who is in love with you with notes between window.
• Go somewhere outside and have a plane write a message in the sky. Ex: 'I'M GAY!'
• Make a t-shirt that says 'I'm gay!' on it and wear it to school/work/out and about.

That's all I can think of. I feel that now you readers are extremely educated on the art of coming out.

All I have left to show of my adventure are two skinned elbows and several billion aching muscles.

So, as a few of you may know, I went on an adventure today. It was a very adventurous adventure.

First, I sat in my wife's car for an  hour and a half. We played Boxers or Briefs™. (At least I think it's ™'d. It's this fabulous game that's too hard to explain unless there are cards or something to show y'alls.

Then... WE ARRIVED AT SLIME LAKE.

Slime Lake is really called Lime Lake, but my wife calls it Slime. And I agree with her because it's super slimey and icky. Only the bottom, though. And it gets deep really fast, so you can hardly tell.

Anyway, we totally ate delicious foods and talked about random mangas and webcomics that I don't know about but I still know who the characters are and they all have insanely similar names like Fai and Faye or something and when people are talking really fast they sound exactly the same and it was soooo confusing. That was an extremely long sentence.

After we ate delicious foodies, we decided that it would be a FABULOUS idea to go and tube. I think we forgot that you need just a bit of upper body strength to tube. We also forgot that none of us people that were there has the required OVER NINE THOUSAND upper body strength level. So we spent an hour or three skinning our elbows and knees, trying to climb onto the tubes that hate us so. But it was fun. And I lost two or more of my bracelets in the process because I was too lazy to take them off. And they were both really cool ones. They were all beaded and one was from Mexico and the other was from Africa. Well, I guess the fish can be beautiful now.

After we had been yanked around enough and we couldn't feel our fingers or faces anymore, we stopped (after abandoning wifey), ate some more and then ran around in a graveyard. And by running around, I mean we walked really slowly and walked on gravestones and stuff and then sat on this conveniently placed bench and talked about chundering. It was very happy-making. And by the way, there really was a grave thingy that said Fish on it. There was also one that said Lazer.

Then I decided that we were bored, so we went back to the placey place and ate popcorn and played Chinese Checkers for all of five minutes and when wifey and I decided that we should swim before we had to go home, I smashed all the marbley things.

And THENNNN we went back into the lake, but this time we had NOODLES instead of life jackets and everyone was really lame and wanted to just sit on their noodles and talk, but I wanted to swim and try to drown people. But nooo, they wanted to stay floating so that they could breathe. Lammmmmmme. We swam for a while and waved at a boat. And Bethy-kun decided to ask us—really loudly while the boat was really close—if we should shout something awkward at them. Actually, it might have been the Turnip.

And then we were tired and went home. And I am going to be in so much pain tomorrow, I am so screwed.

So that was my lovely adventure today.  I need to sleep because tubing and swimming takes a lot more out of you than you would think.

Since I'm lazy, here is your half-arsed post o' the day.

I need to get to sleep early today because I'm going on an ADVENTURE tomorrow. I will blog about the adventure tomorrow.

Today, I will be blogging about fabulous websites and blogs that are fabulous. Fabulous. Flamboyant. Fantastic. Fish-licking. Freaky.

• Facebook. I mean, this one is a given. Facebook is freaking addictive. It has all those mini games and AUGH. Way too addictive.
• deviantArt. I love this site. It has so many prettyful pictures that are so prettyful. It's pretty addicting too.
• Things I Hate. This is my wife's blog. She rarely posts, but the one currently (as of 12:11:14 AM August 17) is pretty amazing because it has a funny demotivator with Bill Kaulitz.
• Goodreads. It's a really helpful site that helps you organize stuff you've read and are reading and you want to read. And it helps when I'm recommending things for a friend that I can just go through my list. :D
• Neopets. I started playing this game in fourth or fifth grade and it's soooo fun. I have lots of neopoints. I'm saving up for a Faerie Queen Doll. It's also the website that made me start to spell things all British style. Like Faerie.
• Hyperbole and a Half. It is a hilarious blog that I obsessively check for updates on. Uh... the best post on there is THIS ONE or THIS ONE!
• Confessions of a Watery Tart. This blog is written by the mother of one of my friends from elementary school. It's pretty funny and has a lot of sweet stuff about writing.
• I Punched It. The awkwardly named blog by one of my friends who I went to middle school with.
• This blog's name is longer than this sentence. A blog by one of my bestest friends, NELLIE! Beware: it's quite angsty.
• Burrowers, Books and Balderdash. It's a blog... Yeah, that's all I really know.

I can't really think of any sites at the moment. If anyone would care to remind me, please comment. :D