Thursday, December 30, 2010

New year's resolutions never work out.

This year, I am going to use REVERSE psychology on myself. I will be saying the opposite of what I ACTUALLY want to do. It's sure to work.

  • I will not be more fabulous. Not any more than I actually am. I have reached my capacity.
  • I will not grow my hair out. Really freaking short is long enough for me!
  • I'll ALWAYS go on the computer before doing my homework. The reverse is not an option. Who wants good grades?
  • On school nights, I will go to bed extremely late. Three or four is good. You don't need quality sleep! The bags-under-your-eyes are in style right now.
  • When my driver's test comes around, I will fail it with FLYING COLORS. Especially the parallel parking part.
  • I am going to lose NaNo '11. I will write no more than two hundred words a day, if at all. I will have no plot and Mary-Sue characters. I will write like a freaking STEPHANIE MEYER.
  • I am not going to make a hat. I will give up and cut it into pieces and cry. 
  • It's impossible. I will never finish reading all the freaking books on my book wall. I could never finish all of them in one year.
  • I won't finish putting up sticky notes on my walls and various other things from my ceiling. It would make my room far too ugly. Plus, the colors clash.
  • I wouldn't imagine of blogging more than once a week. Maybe once a month is better. 
  • I will die. I can't live through another whole year. Plus, the year after next is 2012 and I'll end up dying anyway. It will be much less painful to do it this way.
  • I will not try out for Romeo and Juliet. And I will most definitely not get to role of Mercutio who happens to be most fabulous person in the whole world.
  • I will be horrified and disappointed when The Legend of Korra comes out. It will be absolutely horrible and I will cry after every episode where I don't see Toph.
  • I will not save up enough money to buy an iPad or a laptop. They're far too expensive. I can't do that. Not in a whole year.
  • I will make sure that my room is covered in a layer of dirt and candy wrappers.
  • I will also let down the MANY readers of my blog with lame posts. Prepare to be bored.
I think those are some pretty fine resolutions.

Now for some predictions of the year to come that are not in reverse psychology format.

  • Everyone will start panicking and stocking up on canned food for 2012.
  • Goliath will come out and be the best freaking thing ever.
  • I will turn older.
  • The second half of the seventh Harry Potter movie will be sexy, especially with Gringotts and everything. And maybe they'll cut out a few deaths because there are a few choice people who I love.
  • Sarah Palin may or may not be mauled by a bear. Or maybe a moose. Either will do.
  • I will continue being a stupid and keep using dumb words like squish and fish and alligator and sexy and things like that when I can't think of anything else. 
  • I will win THE GAME.
  • Actually I already have, but I'm sure that this year the Pope or the Prime Minister of somewhere will confirm it.YAY!

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