Monday, July 19, 2010

Neopets is possibly the most addicting thing in the world.

I've totally been meaning to blog all day. I've promised myself I would try and do it everyday. I've made up a list of three reasons I put it off.
  1. I've been sorta kinda not really busy. And by busy I mean sitting in a classroom at ten in the morning listening to this guy drone on and on about passing other cars. And at three I drove a car. Which really shouldn't be happening because I'm not the kind of person who should be operating heavy machinery. You see that picture above? That's what will end up happening if I drive anymore. Oh, and I've also been eating waffles.
  2. I'm justifying this procrastination with the knowledge that I blogged late last night (which was the second time that day). So maybe technically based on that, I shouldn't have to do this.
  3. And third and the biggest issue. I've been playing neopets. It is one of the single most addicting websites ever created. It's like... getting kids warmed up to spend all of their free time playing World of Warcraft. Which I totally approve of, by the way. I've spent most of my time on a game playing a game called Faerie Cloud Racers. My keyboards hate me. Even if I switch them, it's all AUGH. So I've probably spent a half hour or more saying various pseudocurses under my breath. Have you ever played that game with a keyboard that's all delayed for a second? You. Can't. Win.
So those are my reasons. They're pitiful. I just thought of another reason. Because I've been running around my house, eating waffles and belting out Disney songs. Mostly Gaston from Beauty and the Beast. Y'know, cause it's all many and stuff. I mean. LOOK AT THESE LYRICS—

When I was a lad, I ate four dozen eggs every morning to help me get large! And now that I'm grown I eat FIVE dozen eggs so I'm roughly the size of a BARRGGGEEE!

Also, Let's Go Fly a Kite and Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious because they get stuck in your head so easily. The best part of today was definitely when my brother and mother began singing along. Though my brother has decided to say 'No one brushes his teeth like GASPATCHO. And I keep trying to correct him, but he's stuck in his little world where he's right.

I think we should go back to the idea of me using heavy machinery. I am a failure. And should not be trusted on the open road to murder innocent villagers. On the other hand, I should be allowed to pillage and rape villages with my viking comrades like we have done before. See that viking hat? How gorgeous is that? I bet that baby rapes and pillages bunches of villages. I bet no one would expect that baby to be an evil viking pillager. But once he puts his hat on, BAM. He's not to be trifled with. I mean, look at that cute blanket. Who doesn't love that?

By the way, vikings are the sexiest things ever. Except viking babies. That's just creepy.

You see these pictures of cars running dogs over and in a tree and in/on a roof? That's what I'm going to end up doing. D: I don't know if it's even possible, but I'll manage. I think everyone should evacuate the roadways whenever I'll be driving. The only reason I haven't run over anyone/anything—WAIT. I did run over a dead raccoon because it was on the side of the road and there were cars halfway in my lane, so I had to move over. Augh. It was horrible.

I'm going to end up not being able to parallel park or back out of driveways without running into things behind me (like my mom) or I'm going to end up running over a family (like my grandmother). I think it might be best if I just stayed off the roads. My family history isn't that great. On the other hand, Gigi (my other grandmother) seems to be a pretty good driver other than honking when we're pulling into the garage. And my dad is... I dunno. He hasn't driven me places very often, and when he has, I don't see anything wrong. At least he hasn't run over a family.

I have a really strong urge right now to tie a orange cloth around my head, draw whisker-type things on my face and run around screaming 'I'M NARUTO. I'M A FREAKING NINJA.' I hope you don't find it weird that I've done that before.

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